Return Of The Psychopath
by TimeLordMaster108
Summary: Part 2 of a Sequal triology and a sequal to Stewie And The Psychopath. Two months have passed since Stewie was rescued. However Helen escapes from IronGate in an attempt to take Stewie again. Will the Griffins be able to stop her or will their protection be in vain?
1. Chapter 1

(AN Hello there and welcome everyone to the sequal to Stewie And The Psychopath entitled Revenge Of A Psychopath. This is a rewrite to the unfinished sequal to Stewie And The Fat Woman What Happened Next. So like the last story I don't own the OCs Helen or Dave. That honour once again goes to lozzadozza89 or lozza1989. The same goes for the OCs Jennifer and Kady. Anyway I hope you enjoy this story and remember to read and review.)

Chapter 1 How To Make A House Safe With Lois Griffin

Iron Gate Prison was supposedly meant to be the most secure prison outside of Quahog Rhoad Island. However, that was a slight exaggeration as there weren't that many guards; even on the cell blocks that were meant to have higher security. These thoughts were going through the insane mind of Helen Parks who, after two months in a prison cell had finally thought up a fool proof plan to escape. Helen had been given another twenty years in prison after she had stabbed and killed her cell mate.

"It's time to put my plan into motion," Helen said to herself in an insane voice.

She then began banging her fists against the door.

"LET ME OUT. I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE!" She screamed.

A gaurd who was walking down the corridor heard this and sighed in annoyance, Ever since Helen had arrived here she had been a complete annoyance, Starting fights with other prisoners, attacking gaurds and breaking her TV. The gaurd marched right up to the cell door and began banging on it.

"Stop making that racket you psychopath." He shouted.

"But I need to get out of here and get my son back." Helen's voice said through the door.

The gaurd just groaned.

"how many times must we go over this?! Stewie Griffin didn't belong to you he belongs to Peter and Lois Griffin," The guard explained, "you kidnapped him, so that's why you're in here."

"Just be lucky we don't kill people for child abduction because as of now you are the most hated person in Quahog." The gaurd added.

Helen then continued to slam her body into the door. The gaurd was about to walk away in defeat when he suddenly noticed that the door was wobbling.

"Uh oh," he said.

The gaurd became even more nervous as large dents began to appear in the door. The door began to creak as it came off it's hinges.

"Please don't fall down, please don't fall down," the gaurd muttered to himself.

The door then fell with a mighty crash onto the floor. Helen then walked out of her cell with a triumphant look on her face. The gaurd raised his pistol at her but unfortunately for him he didn't have a quick reaction time as Helen ran up to him and knocked him over.

"I'll be taking that," she commented.

she snatched the gun from his hand and shot him leaving him dead on the floor.

Helen instantly ran down the corridor and shot three more guards dead. One gaurd then saw her and instantly set the security alarm off he then crumpled to the floor. Dead after being shot.

Helen then looked around and saw a bathroom. She then went in and piled several benches on top of each other, then climbed on top of them and opened the bathroom window. Helen struggled for a few moments to squeeze out but she managed and ran off through a woodland area.

Helen climbed over the fence and swam towards the boat that traveled from here to Quahog. She found a rope that was dangeling down from the boat and climbed it. She then began to sneak across the deck and hid between two crates.

"And they said that prison was impossible to escape from." Helen whispered to herself. "Well I sure proved them wrong."

"Look out Griffins I'm coming back for you and then I'll take Stewie back and run away to Texas." Helen declared in a loud voice.

The insane woman then laughed in an evil manner.

The warden of the prison was sitting in his office when a gaurd burst in.

"Sorry to disturb you sir but I just thought you should know that Helen Parks has escaped". The gaurd stated.

The warden nearly choked on his tea.

"Well what are you standing there for go and alert the authorities in Quahog at once." The Warden ordered. "She's probably on the boat heading there to take Stewie Griffin away from his real parents again!"

The gaurd then ran of to do what his boss suggested.

The next evening at 31 Spooner Street Lois was in the kitchen preparing dinner for everyone while Stewie was sat in his high chair.

"Hurry up with the dinner woman I'm starving over here," Stewie moaned in a huffy voice.

Lois looked over at him.

"be patient sweetie. Lois said. "mummy will be done in a few minutes".

"Yes well by the time you're done I might just turn into a skeleton," Stewie replied.

Lois just chuckled at this remark.

"I think someone's being very fussy tonight." Lois remarked. "Are you still upset over the whole kidnapping ordeal?"

Stewie just glared at his mum for several moments.

"Am I still upset about being kidnapped." Stewie retorted. "well of course I am it's the worst thing that's ever happened to me".

Lois then looked at Stewie with a sympathetic face.

"Aww well don't worry sweetie that nasty lady is locked up in prison and won't be able to get you ever again". Lois said in a soothing voice.

Meanwhile Peter and his friends were hanging out at the Drunken Clam having a few beers and just talking

"So Peter how's Stewie been since you know the incident?" Quagmire asked.

Peter then smiled slightly.

"He's been fine Quagmire just a little bit upset about it." Peter replied.

"I don't blame him Peter." Joe stated. "I don't think him finding out Brian slept with Bonnie would take his mind off it."

"Ah I gauss you're right I mean what's the worst that could happen?" Cleveland questioned.

As soon as Cleveland said that the TV cut to show Tom Tucker and Joyce Kinney. They looked pretty nervous.

 **Cutaway To TV**

"Good evening. Tom said. "Um I really don't quite know how to say this but."

Tom stopped as he adjusted his tie slightly.

Joyce just face palmed.

"Oh for gods sake Tom just tell them the bloody news." Joyce yelled out.

"But Joyce we need to tell them this horrible news in a gentle way." Tom whined.

Joyce just glared at Tom.

"Oh for Christ sake. Helen Parks has escaped from IronGate prison and is now back in Quahog!" She spat out.

 **End Cutaway**

The reaction from everyone was very sudden. Peter spat his beer out.

"Holy crap!" Peter yelled out in terror.

"What the Hell!" Cleveland exclaimed.

"Oh My God." Joe screamed out.

Peter then got up and ran out the door.

"I-I gotta get home and warn Lois." Peter explained.

Peter raced for his car and began driving very fast towards Spooner Street, Peter managed to reach his driveway in a few minutes and crashed into the garage. Peter then ran inside the house and almost sent a shocked Lois flying.

"Peter what the hell are you doing?" Lois questioned in alarm.

"Lois I really don't quite know how to say this but um ah!" Peter stated in a nervous voice.

Lois just rolled her eyes as she watched her husband stutter.

"Oh for the love of God just spit it out fatman." Stewie yelled out.

"H-H-H Helen has escaped from IronGate Prison and is back in Quahog." Peter said in a slow and fearful voice.

Lois's and Stewie's eyes instantly widened in horror at the news.

What!" Stewie exclaimed in horror.

"Helen Parks the woman that kidnapped Stewie?" Lois questioned in a nervous voice.

Peter then nodded.

"Yes she escaped yesterday evening." Peter replied.

"Oh no, no!" Lois said in a now scared voice.

Brian then walked through while drinking a Martini.

"Hay guys what's going on?" He asked.

"Helen Parks has escaped from prison and is back in Quahog." Peter said in a casual voice.

"Oh that's cool when di." Brian commented.

Brian nearly walked out of the kitchen before realising what Peter just said.

Brian then walked up to Peter.

What did you say Helen Parks big fat ugly psychopath who kidnapped Stewie and tried to keep him as her son and super pissed of at us Helen Parks?" He said in a slow nervous voice.

"Yeah." Peter replied in a fearful voice.

Brian then choked on his Martini before spitting it out.

"Oh holy Jesus God!" Brian exclaimed now realising how serious this situation was.

Meg and Chris then ran through.

"Is it true Helen Parks has escaped from prison and is in Quahog?" Chris yelled out.

"It's true guys." Brian answered.

"She is going to come for us we are dead man." Stewie cried out in terror before adding. "Well she won't kill me because she wants to have me back as her quote on quote son but yeah the rest of you are pretty screwed."

Lois then picked Stewie up and cuddled him.

"Well you won't have to worry sweetie because mummy will make sure that nasty lady doesn't get you ever again." Lois declared.

"Oh and how exactly are you going to do that?" Peter questioned with a smug smile on his face.

Lois then rolled her eyes as she began to explain.

"Well I've come up with a few new security rules to prevent Helen from breaking in and taking my baby." Lois explained.

"Rule one. From now on Stewie has to have someone with him at all times whenever we're out or inside the house." Lois stated.

There was a round of moaning from the others.

"Mum why do we have to keep an eye on him in our own bloody house." Meg moaned.

"Meg no swearing." Lois retorted. "And I know you might not like these rules but they're for Stewie's own safety."

"Lois why do we have to be with him at all times when we're out?" Peter asked.

"If we take our eye of him for just a moment there's a good chance Helen might find us and kidnap him again." Lois explained.

"Rule number two." She continued. Brian is now going to be on gaurd duty during the night to make sure a certain fat psychopath dosn't break in, and from now on if anyone is out they have to be back here before dark because Helen could follow one of you back to here."

"Oh come on." Brian groaned." I'll take it I don't have a say in this?"

"No you don't." Lois replied in a teasing voice.

"Besides being out at night might not be a good thing." Meg explained. "Since Chris could easily tell Helen where we live."

"Are you calling me an idiot?" Chris cried out in horror.

"And finnaly rule number three Stewie's crib is being placed in my room until Helen is caught." she explained.

"That's actually a good idea Lois." Stewie commented."

"Why are you putting Stewie's crib in our room?" Peter asked.

"Because Peter if that woman finds out where we live somehow she could break in during the night and take Stewie so I'm not leaving him on his own while that nutcase is on the loose." Lois stated.

Lois then turned to Peter.

"I'm also afraid to say that we can't have any more sex until Helen is thrown back in IronGate." Lois said.

"Aww." Peter whined. "But that might take forever I don't think I can wait that long.

"Peter that's enough." Lois snapped. "we can't have any sex while Stewie's around."

Lois just ignored the complaints of the others.

"Oh and also if I'm giving Stewie a bath someone has to be with me." Lois stated.

"Oh come on Lois." Peter moaned. "Do you seriously think Helen will take Stewie while he's having a bath especialy since he'll be naked

"well I wasn't the one who left him in a Toy Store to go play Pac Man." Lois said in a huffy voice. "Which need I remind you has happened four times already, Also I'll have to ask Stewie's preschool teacher to keep an eye on him at all times."

Peter just face palmed.

"Next thing you know Lois will be asking for me to buy a burgler alarm."

Unfortunatly for Peter that's exactly what she asked.

Later on Lois was taking Stewie's crib into her and Peter's room with Stewie in it.

after Stewie got scared from watching The Nightmare Before Christmas when it got to Oggie's Boogie song which had never happened before. In fact Peter had tried several other Disney movies beforehand which resulted in Stewie getting frightened these included 101 Dalmations, The Aristocats, The Rescuers Down under, Beuty And The Beast, The Great Mouse Detective, Herculese, The Hunchback Of Notre Damn, Peter Pan Return To Neverland, 101 Dalmations 2 Patch's Londen Adventure and Olivrer And Company with Peter not seeing the obvious problem.

"Peter next time try putting on a Disney movie that won't scare Stewie." Lois scolded. "He's still upset over the kidnapping thing and we don't want anything to remind him of that."

"All right, all right." Peter retorted in a huffy voice. "Besides Stewie also got frightened by Pokemon I just don't understand why it was Team Rocket in particular."

Lois then placed the crib at the end of the bed.

Peter and Lois then changed into their pyjamas and climbed into bed.

"Hay fatman i hope you're not going to snore." Stewie commented as he fell asleep.

"I hope you don't either." Peter said while chuckling.

Stewie then looked at Rupert.

"I hope i don't get kidnapped by her again Rupert." Stewie said in a fearful voice. "I don't want to go through that horrible ordeal again."

Rupert said nothing as Stewie finally fell asleep not knowing that Helen was looking for his house at this very moment.


	2. A Long Night

**Chapter 2 A Long Night**

Helen was skulking through the empty streets of Quahog, She had been trying to figure out a way to find the Griffins house but thankfully she had no success.

"The Police can't stop me." Helen whispered to herself as she tore a Wanted Poster off the wall, "I will have my son back if it's the last thing I do."

She then came across a clothes shop and saw through the window clothes that matched her old ones.

"Perfect I need to slip into somthing more comfy anyway." Helen muttered.

She then leapt through the window and raced over to the cloths. She then snatched them and ran off into the night.

Back in Peter and Lois's bedroom Stewie was tossing and turning in his sleep. His face was screwed up obviously he was having a bad dream.

Stewie was wondering through a massive Toy Store. It was dimly lit and all the toys that lined the shelves looked old and creepy. The young infant had become separated from the rest of the Family and was now looking for them.

Good god where are they? Stewie said aloud in a fearful voice.

He held onto Rupert even tighter.

"FATMAN, LOIS, MEG, CHRIS, BRIAN where the bloody hell have you gone?" Stewie yelled out in a huffy voice.

Stewie was now becoming worried as he said to Rupert.

"I have a very bad feeling about this Rupert." Stewie remarked. It's as though I'm about to walk into a trap.

As soon as those words came from his mouth Stewie suddenly tripped on a large roulette wheel and became bound around the waist and arms by ropes, Rupert then flew away into the distance.

"What the deuce?" Stewie cried out in fear.

Stewie then noticed several dimly lit green lights light up. The talking infant then looked over his shoulder as he saw a pair of creepy Human Torch action figures light up with an ominous red glow. They let out a creepy fire sound effect as this happened. Stewie then noticed a large pair of double doors open slowly giving of a loud creaking sound. A pair of dice then came flying out from the shadows and hit Stewie in the face before falling motionless next to him.

Stewie then looked up and his eyes instantly widened in terror as the large obese form of Helen loomed over him. Her eyes were glowing a bright white. Helen then began to sing.

(AN first song parody is the oggie boogie song from the Nightmare Before Christmas.)

 **Song Sequance Starts**

 _Well, well, well, what have we here? Stewie Griffin, huh? Ooh, I'm really pleased So you' thought you could escape Ha, ha, ha, ha!_

 _Helen then opened her mouth which caused blood to drip onto Stewie, she then danced around the wheel._

 _You're jokin', you're jokin'  
I can't believe my eyes_

 _Helen then spun the wheel around._

 _You're jokin' me, you gotta be  
This can't be the right infant._

 _Helen then grabbed Stewie by his shirt collar_

 _He's small He's weak  
I don't know which is worse  
I might just split a seam now  
If I don't die laughing first._

 _Helen's fore head then split open causing blood to pour out. She then placed Stewie back on the wheel and spun it around._

 _When Mrs Helen Parks says  
There's trouble close at hand  
You'd better pay attention now  
Cause I'm your real mummy._

 _Helen then picked the young infant up and began dancing with him._

 _And if you aren't shakin'  
There's something very wrong  
Cause this may be the last time  
You hear this funny Song_

 _Helen then licked Stewie's face and dropped him on the floor._

 _Ohhh._

 **Helen** :  
 _Ohhh_

 **Creepy Toys:**  
 _Ohhh_

 **Creepy Toys:**  
 _Ohhh_

 **Helen:**  
 _Ohhh_

 **Sid's Toys from Toy Story:**  
 _Ohhh_

 **Helen and Creepy Toys:**  
 _I'm (she's) your real mummy_

 **Helen:**  
 _Well if I'm feelin' board  
And there's nothin' much to do  
I might just cook a special batch  
Of sweet and Spicey stew._

 _And don't ya know the one thing  
That would make it work so nice?  
A roly-poly Stewie Griffin  
To add a little spice._

 **Creepy Toys:**  
 _Ohhh_

 **Helen:**  
 _Ohhh_

 **Creepy Toys:**  
 _Ohhh_

 **Helen:**  
 _Ohhh_

 **Creepy Toys:**  
 _Ohhh_

 **Helen:**  
 _Oh, yeah_

 **Helen and Creepy Toys:**  
 _I'm (she's) your real mummy_

 _A trio of knights holding guns came out of three doors next to Stewie with a slot machine activated._

 **Stewie:**  
 _Release me now or you must face  
The dire consequences  
My family will miss me  
So please, come to your senses_

 _Helen then pulled Stewie up just before a trio of toy knights fired their guns._

 **Helen:**  
 _You're jokin', you're jokin'  
I can't believe my ears  
Would someone shut this baby up?  
I'm drownin' in my tears._

 _Helen then spun Stewie around and kicked him to the floor._

 _It's funny, I'm laughing  
You really are too much  
And now, with your permission,  
I'm going to do my stuff_

 _Helen then picked Stewie up and walked towards the exit._

 **Stewie:** What are you going to do?

 **Helen:** I'm going to do the best I can.

Helen: Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha Ha!

Oh oh ah oh!

The crazed woman then danced outside with Stewie who was struggling to break free, she then placed Stewie in the booster seat in her Toyota and got in the front seat

Helen: Ha!

Yeah!

Helen then started driving away

 _Helen: Whoooooooooooooooh, the sound of children laughing  
To me is music in the air  
Cause I'm a crazy woman  
Who missed her child so much._

 _It's much more fun, I must confess  
To not go through child birth  
Not adoption, of course but kidnapping you again sweetie  
Now that'd be just fine._

 **Stewie:** Release me fast or you'll have to answer for this heinous act!

 **Helen:**  
 _Oh Stewie, you're somethin'  
You put me in a spin  
You aren't comprehending  
The position that you're in_

 _It's hopeless, you're finished  
You haven't got a prayer  
Cause I'm Mrs Helen Parks  
And you ain't goin' nowhere!_

 **End Song sequance**

Stewie then began kicking and screaming in an attempt to break free, however the seatbelt seemed to get tighter and tighter, Stewie then closed his eyes as he began to feel suffocated.

The young infant bolted up onto his bed sheets, Stewie was screaming in absolute terror. He then saw that he was safe inside Peter and Lois's bedroom in his house, Stewie was breathing quite fast and his heart was drumming against his rib cage.

"Oh thank god it was just a nightmare." The young infant whispered in a fearful voice.

Stewie then began crying loudly as he heard the bedside lamp being turned on. Lois saw Stewie sobbing in his cot and gently lifted him out of it.

"What's wrong sweetie, did you have a bad dream?" Lois asked in a quiet voice.

Stewie then nodded as he shook in fear.

Lois then rocked him back and forth while gently stroking his hairs

"Shhhh, shhhhhh, It's ok honey mummy's here." Lois said in a soothing voice. "Uh oh looks like someone needs a Diaper change."

Stewie then finnaly noticed that his nappy felt wet.

"Eww I've soiled myself." Stewie groaned in embaresment.

Lois then carried Stewie through to his bedroom and changed his nappy. Lois then took Stewie back into her and Peter's room and as she did so she picked up Rupert who was lying on the floor.

"Oh my you must have dropped Rupert when you woke up." Lois commented as she handed the stuffed bear to Stewie who held onto him tightly.

"Hay Lois what's going on is Stewie alright?" Peter questioned as he suddenly woke up.

"Yes he's fine Peter just a nightmare." Lois replied as she placed Stewie back into his cot.

She got back into bed, and turned the bedside lamp off.

"Lois then fell asleep instantly along with Peter, However Stewie couldn't sleep he was still shaking in fear and glancing up at the window afraid that Helen would just climb through and snatch him, and when Peter and Lois woke up they would find his empty cot.

"Maybe I should go talk with Brian." Stewie said to Rupert.

He then slipped out of his cot, he then crept across the hallway and silently went downstairs.

Brian was sitting on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him. He was watching TV and drinking Tea in an attempt to stay awake.

"Hay Brian." A voice said.

Brian jumped up in fright as he saw Stewie looking up at him with a frightened look on his face.

"Stewie what are you doing down here at three in the morning?" The talking dog questioned his young friend.

"I can't sleep Brian." Stewie answered in a small voice. "I had a nightmare about being separated from you guys in a Toy Store and being kidnapped by Helen again."

Brian then walked up to his friend with a sympathetic smile and scooped him up.

"Don't worry about that Stewie she doesn't know where we live and hopefully the Police will catch her quickly and throw her fat ass back into IronGate." Brian explained.

"Yes but what if we're out and she manages to find us and kidnaps me." Stewie muttered as tears began to form in his eyes.

"That woman was a complete nightmare she shouted so loud that I thought I was going to become deaf like the Greeced Up Deaf Guy." Stewie commented.

 **Flashback**

Stewie was at the park when he saw the Greesed Up Deaf Guy running around a tree.

Ha ha you can't catch me I'm faster than all of you. He said in his usual high pitched voice.

Stewie just face palmed and groaned in annoyance.

"You're not being chased by anyone you blasted idiot you can't even here anything." Stewie yelled out.

The greese covered man then stopped and smiled at Stewie.

Aww you're just like me we could make a great team. The man explained.

The young infant rolled his eyes as he walked away.

"Stupid idiot." He muttered.

 **End Flashback**

Brian quickly dried the young infants eyes with a damp paper towel.

"Shhh shhh there there you don't need to be frightened Stewie in fact I've got no idea why you're terrified of a crazy fat woman. Brian explained.

"I mean sure she kidnapped you and abused you but apart from that she was easily caught and didn't have that much brain power. And let's not forget that she also cared for you and loved you as though you were her own child." Brian stated. "Plus we all know that she can't really help herself."

Stewie's eyes lit up

"Good god Brian you're right I can't spend the rest of my life in fear of this woman a stupid fat woman." Stewie said in a much happier voice. "I should be of working on my real goals world domination and killing Lois."

"That's the spirit." Brian yelled out. "So you gonna go back to bed?"

"Yep." Stewie answered.

He then made his way up the stairs and went back into Peter and Lois's room.

He then crawled under the covers of his cot.

"Good night Rupert." Stewie yawned.

He then fell asleep.

(AN Sorry if this story is having a slow start but don't worry the plot will really kick off in Chapter 4 so just be patient. Anyway remember to leave a review and I'll see you next time. Fun fact the song used in this Chapter was going to be in the first story but got cut.)


	3. Fresh Air Helps Clear The Mind

Chapter 3 Fresh Air Clears The Mind

The Next morning Lois woke up and went over to Stewie's cot. She sighed in relief as the young infant was still fast asleep.

She then nudged Peter gently.

Peter grunted slightly.

"Mummy I don't want to go to church." Peter moaned in his sleep.

Lois chuckled slightly."Peter come on wake up you fat lump." Lois said. "I'm making pancakes for breakfast."

"Peter then nearly jumped up into the air.

"Yayyyyyy Pancakes now please." Peter yelled out in excitment.

Lois just sighed at her husband

Rupert came flying out of nowhere and hit her in the face. Lois turned in the direction of where the Bear had come from and saw Stewie standing in the doorway with an irritated look on his face.

Lois then took her young son out of his cot.

"Well I think someone's fussy this morning." She remarked.

"OI woman where's my breakfast I've been calling you for several minutes and still you don't give food instantly. Stewie protested. "What does a baby have to do to get a liitle service around here."

He then slapped Lois across the face.

"Stewie no hitting mummy that's naughty." She said while tutting and shaking her head.

Peter then charged downstairs while weilding a knife and fork.

"PANCAKES, PANCAKES, PANCAKES YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY." Peter screamed.

"Well there goes one hungry customer." Lois commented.

Later that same morning the family went to the Park to get some fresh air and relax.

"Aww mn when are we going to get Ice Cream." Peter was saying.

"In a few minutes Peter just be patient." Lois retorted while rolling her eyes.

Peter then began annoying Meg by making loud farting noises.

"Ah dad stop making those noises." Meg shouted out in embarresment.

"Just ignore him Meg, Lois sighed. "It's just the way your dad is.

"Yeah I know, Meg groaned." "But he's just so annoying sometimes, Remember when we went to Chuck E Cheese.

Cutaway Gag

The Griffins excluding Peter were sitting at a table at Chuck E Cheese. Lois was currently looking at her watch with an anxious look on her face.

"Where is he?" She questioned in a nervous voice. "I told him to go to McDonald's and it's been two hours."

Peter then suddenly burst through the front door, He was completley naked and was absolutly drunk.

Sorry I'm late everybody," Peter explained in a slurred voice. "Tell me does anyone have a Pop Tart.

Meg just placed her hands over her face and rested her head down on the table.

Lois just shook her head and sighed.

Stewie who was over in the ball pool saw Peter and.

"Good god Fatman what have you done." Stewie squeeled in horror.

The young infant vomited while Chris was on a Wack A Mole Machine.

End Cutaway Gag.

Later on the Griffins were still at the park. Peter was currently hiding in a bush concealing a baseball bat and looking through a pair of binoculars.

"Peter what the hell are you doing?" Lois questioned in an amused voice.

"I'm looking out for Helen." Peter explained. If that fat bitch so much as comes charging at Stewie I'll whack her in the face with my good old baseball bat."

Lois just sighed while rolling her eyes.

"Peter get out of there we just need to keep a closer eye on Stewie and if she does come we run." Lois informed.

Lois then turned around and was shocked when she couldn't find Stewie there."

"Oh my god Stewie where are you?" She cried out in a horrified voice.

"Maybe he wondered off somewhere." Brian suggested.

"Then we'd better split up and find my baby quick before a certain fat psychotic bitch does." Lois explained in a nervous voice.

Stewie was currently down by a pond near the woods laughing his head off while talking to Rupert.

"Oh you know Rupert I shouldn't really be here all by my self but I can't be scared of a crazy fat woman. If she so much as pokes her head out I'll blow her brains out." Stewie commented.

Suddenly a large 5 year old boy was standing in front of Stewie. He wore a white shirt with red stripes on it and had brown spiky hair.

"Hay little baby. He said in a mocking voice. "You want your Teddy Bear to go for a swim?"

"Don't you even think about it." Stewie growled in a threatning voice.

"What's that." The boy replied "you do."

He then swiped Rupert out of Stewie's arms and threw him into the pond..

"HOW DARE YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH." Stewie screamed in anger.

Before the older boy knew what was happening he was on the ground and having the living crap beat out of him by an enraged one year old.

After several minutes Stewie stopped beating the boy up. He was covered in bruises and cuts. Stewie then pulled out his mind control device and used it on the boy.

Stewie's voice echoed in his head.

"Now go into the pond and get Rupert then wash him on your clothes." The voice commanded.

The boy did as he was told. Stewie became seriously amused as the boy washed the wet Teddy Bear on his shirt. The young infant then picked up a twig and whacked the boy with it several times before grabbing Rupert.

"Now go run back to mummy." Stewie suggested in a mocking voice.

The boy then ran in the opposite direction crying his eyes out.

"Yeah that'll teach you to mess with Stewie Griffin you bastard." The young infant shouted.

Stewie then froze in fear as he heard a russeling noise right behind him. Stewie then slowly turned around as he heard large footsteps approaching him. The sounded as though they belonged to an obese person. Stewie shivered in fear as he decided to turn around completley.

"Please don't let it be Helen, Please don't let it be Helen." Stewie muttered to himself in a voice quivering with fear.

Stewie then fully turned around and screamed in terror which caused Peter to scream in terror as well.

"Holy Crap Stewie you gave me a fright." Peter panted.

"Yeah well you shouldn't have crept up on me like that you fat oaf." Stewie replied.

Peter then chuckled slightly.

"Anyway we'd better get back to the others or else Lois will think you've been kidnapped." Peter said.

"Does she seriously expect Helen to be hiding in this park." Stewie said. "I mean there are tons of people around here so she wouldn't be stupid enough to come charging through here and try to take me again."

"Yeah. Peter replied. "Besides if she did come through the bushes she'd warn you as you might say with a russel, russel, russel, russel, russel, russel."

Peter then suddenly noticed that as he was saying that there was a russeling sound that was growing louder. Peter's ear began to twitch as he turned around to face the nearby bushes.

Stewie's ears and hairs began twitching as well, The young infant then slowly turned around to face the bushes and began shaking in fear as an all to familiar figure came walking towards him, Helen then came walking out of the bushes with an evil grin on her face.

"PETER." Stewie screamed out.

He then leapt into the obese mans arms.

"Oh please fat man don't let her get me oh save me please fat one." Stewie said in a fearful voice.

Peter then glared up at Helen while shaking in fear slightly.

"What are you doing here you evil bitch?" Peter growled in an angry voice.

"Oh now is that really how you treat an old friend."' Helen stated in a sarcastic voice.

Stewie began laughing hystericaly.

"Friend listen Helen we are not friends and I'm most certainly not your son." Stewie retorted.

Helen's evil smile then faded.

"But you are my son and the fat bafoon holding you will give me you or suffer."

I'll never let you take Stewie away from us again you fat psychopath. Peter stated in a determined voice.

"Very well then." Helen growled in a low angry voice. "If you will not give me my baby then I shall take him by force."

She then charged at Peter, However before she could grab Stewie the young infant slipped out of his overalls and kicked Helen in the face. He then bit her in the arm and leapt into Peter's arms again.

"Right what are you waiting for Fat man run." Stewie cried out.

Peter then ran back towards the park not noticing that Helen was close behind.

(AN Well that was Chapter 3. As you can see Stewie learned his leason from the first story that it's never a good idea to face Helen with overalls on. Anyway as for Family Guy Fan writers suggestion for Stewie to fight Helen he'll do that next Chapter so we'll see how well a baby genius does against a crazy fat woman. See you all next next chapter and remember to read and review.)


	4. Chapter 4 No Longer A Safe Haven

Chapter 4 No Longer A Safe Haven

Lois was standing in the middle of the Park worried about Stewie.

"I can't believe he'd just wander off like that." Lois thought to herself. "He knows full well that Helen's after him but he still can't stay still for one minute."

Meg and Chris then ran up to Lois.

"Any sign of him?" Lois questioned.

"No mum we've looked everywhere." Meg answered.

"But I found a used condom." Chris cheered out in triumph as he held the thing up like a trophy.

"Chris put that thing down. Lois yelled out in a stern voice. "Who knows who's been using it.

Chris then threw the condom away. He then noticed a fat chubby woman walking through the park.

"Oh crap mum it's Helen quick kick her ass." Chris screamed out in terror.

Lois gasped and looked to where Chris was pointing.

"Chris that's not Helen it's just a chubby woman." Lois explained to her slow dim witted son. "The woman that kidnapped your brother looked exactly like me."

"Oh." Chris commented in a deadpan voice.

"Mum look it's dad and Stewie running towards us really fast." Meg stated.

Everyone else turned around just as Brian came up to them and saw Peter charging right towards them with a terrified look on his face.

"Lois start the car." Peter yelled out.

"What?" Lois asked.

"I SAID START THE CAR." Peter screamed out. "CRAZY FAT PSYCHOPATH AT 12OCLOCK."

Lois then glanced behind Peter with a confused look on her face this quickly changed to pure terror as she spotted Helen close behind them with a look of lunacy in her eyes.

"Oh my god run." Lois demanded.

Everyone then bolted for the car. After this all the other people in the park spotted Helen and began to go into a frenzy. Everyone began screaming in terror as they bolted for their cars. Parents held their infant children tightly in fear that Helen might also take them away to. Quite a few people stayed behind. Peter then handed Stewie back to Lois who gave him a big hug.

"Oh my god Stewie thank goodness your safe mummy was so worried she thought that you got kidnapped again." Lois explained.

Lois then placed Stewie in his booster seat and told everyone to wait a minute. Helen began to walk through the large crowd that had gathered.

"Hay It's Helen." Sombody whispered.

Another person gave Helen a look of disgust.

"It's Helen." They whispered in a hate filled voice.

"Oh why I oughta let me at her, let me at her." Meg growled in anger.

She then looked at Chris.

"Quick hold me back." She said.

"Ok." Chris replied.

He then grabbed his older sister by the arms as she tried to charge at Helen.

"Let me at her, let me at her." Meg yelled in anger.

"Ok." Chris said.

He then let go of Meg who turned aroound

"I think you're missing the basic point here." Meg said.

"Oh." Chris simply said.

Helen then began to approach Lois as she did so people could be heard muttering.

What's she doing here.

What does she want.

Look at the scar on her face.

"What are you doing here?" Lois shouted out in an enraged voice.

"I just want my son back you evil." Helen said.

"He's not your son you deluded monster you just kidnapped him." Lois retorted.

"No I braught him you are the one who stole him away from me red." Helen snarled.

"Lois please just let me talk to her." Stewie cried out.

"NO." Lois screamed while glaring at Stewie.

She then looked at Helen.

"I won't let you anywhere near my baby ever again because I'm about to do somthing that I should've done two months ago."

Helen looked around at everyone in fear as all the other people muttered

"yeah say it."

"Just do it."

"ATTACK HER." She shouted out.

"NO." The young infant cried out in despair.

Helen looked on in fear as everyone began to crowd around her.

"Yeah let's get her." One person cried out.

Another person nearby was stamping their feet, Meg's Evil monkey along with Connie and Beth were pumping their fists up and down while cheering. Everyone else was doing the same thing while looking at Helen with disgust and hatred.

Lois then got into the car.

"NO." The young infant cried out in despair.

He then tried to get out but Meg and Chris stopped him.

Helen. He said in a low sad voice.

Helen looked on at the people glaring at her the gaurd had not been kidding when he said she was the most hated person in Quahog. She then saw Quagmire and Cleveland approaching her with their fists clenched.

(AN Song being parodied is Not One Of Us from The Lion King 2 Simba's Pride.)

Quagmire: Disgust

Cleveland: Disgrace

Joe and Herbert: Evil as plain as the scar on her face

Helen began to run in the opposite direction

Donna, Rallo and Roberta: Disgust

(An outrage!)

Mort and Neil: Disgrace

(Bonnie and Susie: For shame!)

Helen then ran past Cleveland JR and was attacked by Tom, Joyce, Tricia, Ollie, Jake and Ida.

Cleveland JR: She asked for trouble the moment she came

Other people: She can't change her stripes!

Helen then dodged some attacks from Carter, Babs and Carol

Donna and Rallo: Disgust

Roberta: An outrage!

Mort and Neil: Disgrace

Helen then ran on and was nearly slammed into by Jasper, Death, James Woods, Carl , Jerome, Angela, Oppie, Patsey, Murial, Joyce

Bonnie and Kevin: For shame!

Everyone: You know these psychotic types!

The crazed woman continued to run as she was attacked by Maddie, Ricardo, Consuala, Janine, Rosie and Brenda

Joe and Herbert: Evil as plain as the scar on her face!

Other people: See you later, agitator!

Helen was then pelted with rocks by Meg's Evil Monkey, Connie and Beth

Just leave us alone!

Donna and Rallo: Disgust

(Roberta: An outrage!)

Mort and Neil: Disgrace

(Bonnie and Kevin: For shame!)

Other people: Bitch, go back to the loony bin!

Cleveland JR: She asked for trouble the moment he came

Other people: See you later, agitator!

Suddenly an angry mob consisting of Crystal, The Greesed Up Deaf Guy, Ernie The Giant Chicken, Mayor Adam West, Seamus, Vinny, Phoney Guy, DR Hartman, Eliza, Ruth, Esther, Gwen, Eddie, Amy, Zack, Matt, Mathew, Frank, Frank JR and Collete charged at Helen which made her run faster into a Woodland area.

Everyone: Kidnapped a child

Tried to keep him

Refused to give him back to his real parents

Let her run

Let her live

But do not forget

What we cannot forgive

And she is not one of us

She has never been one of us

She is not part of us

Not our kind

Someone once tried to tear a family apart

By stealing one of their own

For we knew she would do what she's done

And we know that she'll never be one of us

Everyone: She is not one of us

Helen then walked through some back alleys

Quagmire: Disgust

Cleveland: Disgrace

Quagmire: Disgust

Cleveland: Disgrace

Quagmire: Disgust...

Dave had seen all this and was groaning in sadness while face palming.

Helen then looked around and saw the Griffins car driving back home.

"I know I'll try and go to their house." Helen stated in an evil voice.

"And once I'm in their home I can have Stewie back." She stated.

Helen then began to stealthily follow the car keeping close to it and staying out of sight.

The Griffins got home and had their lunch. They were now sitting on the couch watching The Rescuers.

"Fat man do you really think this movie is appropriate for us to watch at the moment?" Stewie questioned while sitting on Peter's lap.

"What do you mean buddy it's a Disney movie you know fun for all the family." Peter explained while wearing a clueless face.

"Um Peter I think Stewie's right." Brian answered. "The films main antagonist is a crazy red headed woman who kidnaps a little kid."

Peter just shrugged his shoulders while wearing a confused face.

Brian then looked at Peter with an absolutely dumbfounded look on his face.

"Oh come on Peter isn't it obvious." He cried out in exasperation.

After a few moments of deadpan silence Peter sighed.

"What did you say Brian?" Peter said.

The talking dog just face palmed.

"You know what never mind." He moaned.

Lois then walked through from the kitchen and handed Stewie Rupert.

"There you go Sweetie Rupert's all nice and clean." Lois commented.

Stewie then hugged Rupert.

"Oh Rupert I'm so sorry for that horrible ordeal I hope you're not traumatised." He said.

Rupert just stared back at Stewie.

"What's that your seeing double vision." Stewie shouted out in an angry voice. "Damn you, you fake matriarch you made Rupert dizzy I said no maximum speed vile woman."

The young infant then threw MR Girrafe at Lois's face.

"Ow Stewie don't throw your toys at mummy. Lois said in a stern voice. "Hay I know somthing that will make you laugh."

She then put Stewie on her lap and began moving her finger around Stewie's hand.

"Round and round the garden like a teddy bear." Lois was saying while doing this.

"Oh I wonder what's going to happen next." Stewie said in a happy voice while giggling.

Lois then continued. "A one step a two step."

"Oh god this is so exciting. Stewie said while chuckling.

"And a tickely under there." Lois finished.

She then began tickling Stewie under his head. The talking baby was laughing hysterically.

"Oh yes god yes this is the best thing ever since I met the fat bastard at McDonald's." Stewie said.

 **Flashback**

Stewie was standing in a line at McDonald's. Suddenly an obese man then cut in front of Stewie.

"Hay I was here first." Stewie shouted in an annoyed voice.

The man then turned around and revealed himself to be fat bastard.

"Oh hay there little baby you look so tasty I'm going to eat you up." He said in a thick Scottish accent.

"Eww god that's disgusting." Stewie cried out while trying not to vomit.

"Now come here and get in my belly." The older man cried out.

Before the fat bastard could charge at him. Stewie pulled his Ray gun out and turned the fat bastard into a pile of dust.

 **End Flashback**

Helen was skulking round the side of 31 Spooner Street. She then jumped over a fence and made it into the back garden.

Peter was currently putting snot onto Meg's shirt while laughing hysterically.

"Eww dad stop it that's so gross." Meg cried out in an irritated voice.

"Peter don't put your snot on Meg's clothes." Lois Said in a stern voice.

Peter then calmed down and wiped the tears away.

"Aww come on Lois hay do you think I can sell Meg on EBay?" He questioned.

"No you bloody well can't Peter." Lois barked. "You already tried to sell Stewie on eBay and I'm still pissed at you."

 **FlashBack**

Lois was on eBay looking for some new shoes when she came across an advertisement for a real life baby. Lois became curious and clicked on it. She became horrified when she saw a picture of Stewie.

Lois became angered as she read the description.

Here's a real life baby you can buy I can't remember what his name was I think it's Stewie I'm so drunk at the moment. Anyway he comes with his own stuffed teddy bear and bottles and Diapers. Blah, blah, blah now get bidding you bastards from Peter Griffin. Oh and I think this might be a big mistake or somthing since I'm drunk.

Lois's face went brick red.

"PETER GRIFFIN YOU GET YOUR FAT ASS DOWN HERE NOW." Lois screamed.

 **End Flashback**

Stewie was currently upstairs observing Susie who was being fed a bottle of milk by Bonnie. Stewie was wearing a dreamy look on his face as he watched.

"wow look at that girl, she can suck on that thing all day and still look adorable." Stewie said in a dreamy voice.

Stewie then looked at his own back garden and saw Somthing that shocked him.

"Oh dear god." Stewie spluttered out. "That vile woman has found us and is coming towards the back door."

Stewie then ran over to his secret keypad and opened the door to his lab the young infant ran over to a device and began typing on a keyboard.

"Hay Stewie what you doing?" Brian asked as he walked into the lab.

Stewie didn't turn to look at Brian.

"Helen is at the back door Brian so I'm summoning some help in order to fight alongside me." Stewie answered.

"Whoa Stewie are you insane." Brian shouted out in suprise.

"Look Brian if we don't do somthing the others could get hurt and I would be kidnapped again." Stewie replied.

Brian was Suprised at how calm his young friend was taking this. Suddenly the teleporters on the machine activated and in a flash of blue light several people appeared. They included Ernie The Giant Chicken, Mayor Adam West. Eliza and The Muscular Pig.

"Alright." Stewie began. "Now i know you might be very confused as to why you're all here."

"Yes we are." Adam West said in a confused voice.

"Well there's a woman outside who's trying to break into the house via the back door." The young infant explained.

"And why should we trust you?" Eliza questioned in a suspicious voice.

Stewie then held up his hands.

"Look i know we don't exactly get along and i know me and my family have caused you trouble in the past." He said. "But i think that just for today we should put our differances aside and try and stop this woman."

"Alright we're in." Ernie replied.

The others agreed to help.

Helen was currently slamming her body against the door trying to break it down.

"I've almost got it down." Helen whispered to herself in a wicked voice.

However before Helen could continue a cat came flying at her face and nearly knocked her over.

"What the Hell was that." The woman screamed out in anger.

She then dodged another few flying cats. Helen looked up at the roof and saw Adam West wielding his cat misile launcher.

"You fiend." Adam West declared. "You won't break into this house because I Batman will stop you."

Helen just rolled her eyes.

"This town is full of complete weirdos." She stated. "Now piss off and leave me alone."

She then grabbed several of the cats and flung them at Adam West. Adam West was taken completley of gaurd as his own cat misiles hit him which caused the older man to fall off the roof.

Helen then charged against the door several more times and finally it fell of it's hinges.

Helen then charged into the kitchen and was attacked by the muscular pig. After dodging a few punches Helen took her pistol out and shot the pig in the face killing it instantly.

Helen then turned around just as the Giant Chicken came charging at her. The pair entered a vicious fist fight. The fight caused massive destruction across the house as furniture and pictures were knocked over. Peter and the others were watching this fight with wide eyes.

"Holy crap Helen and the Giant Chicken are brawling with each other." Peter exclaimed.

The fight continued upstairs and came to a head in Peter and Lois's bedroom. Helen put Ernie in a headlock.

"This was a very foolish attempt at stopping me from taking Stewie back." Helen whispered in a wicked voice.

She then broke Ernie's neck. Helen looked up and saw Eliza looking at her with an evil grin on her face.

"Now surley you wouldn't kill a little girl would you." The infant stated.

"You're right i'm definatly above killing little children." Helen replied.

The younger girl pulled out her ray gun and pulled the trigger. Helen was instantly sent flying through the window and crashed right into Cleveland's house.

( AN Well that was Chapter 4 just a big thanks to Family Guy Fan writter 15 for their ideas. Goodbuy for now and remember to read and review.)


	5. Chapter 5 A Good Hiding Place

Chapter 5 A Good Hiding Place

After Helen had been sent flying Stewie erased the memories of the people he had sent and returned them to where they were Originaly. The Griffins were currently in the now trashed living room.

"Oh my god what's that woman done to our house?" Lois cried out in a sad voice. "This is going to take forever to clean up."

Peter then began chuckling.

"Well you'd better get started now Lois." Said Peter.

Lois growled in anger and smacked Peter in the face.

"No way Peter this is a housewife's worst nightmare come to life." Lois snapped. "And besides we can't worry about that right now because we have a bigger problem to worry about."

"Yeah." Peter replied. "All the ice cream in the fridge melted."

"No not that you stupid idiot." Brian barked. "It's no longer safe for us here. There's a very good chance that Helen could come back because now she knows where we live."

"Oh. Peter said in a defeated tone. "Yeah that's a big problem so what do we do?"

Stewie then walked over to the others.

"Well I think our first move should be to get away from here and fast before that vile woman makes a come back." Stewie explained.

Lois instantly scooped Stewie up.

"That's a great idea Stewie." Lois said.

"Right but first I need to go say buy to my friends." Meg commented.

"There's no time for that Meg we have to go now." Peter growled in anger.

And before the teenage girl could protest Peter grabbed her by the ear and pulled her out the front door. The Griffins then got in the car and drove off. Helen noticed this.

"NO THEY TOOK MY SON AWAY FROM ME THE IDIOTS." She screamed at the top of her lungs.

She then ran through the back door and began shooting her gun wildly all over the place like a cowgirl.

The Griffins parked the car at the Police Station and ran inside to the front desk. The Police Officer at the desk looked down at the family

"Ah well if it isn't the Griffins what do you want?" The Officer asked.

"Um yeah I was wondering do you have any ice cream?" Peter questioned.

"Yes right over their in the fridge." The Officer said.

Peter instantly charged at the fridge and began stuffing his face with ice cream. The others just rolled their eyes at Peter.

"Listen we have a big problem Helen has found out where we live and almost took Stewie again." Lois explained.

The Officer nearly spat his tea out.

"Don't worry Mrs Griffin we at the Quahog Police force are working night and day to find Helen and put her fat ass back in IronGate." The Officer spluttered out.

The family glanced over at a window which showed all the other Police Officers eating donuts and gulping down Hot Chocolate.

"Ok this is serious." Brian shouted out.

"I know, I know." The Officer replied. "Look if it makes you feel any better we can place you all in a safe house."

"That sounds like a great idea." Lois commented. "They've got high security there and it's five miles away from the Police Station."

"Are you sure you want to do this and not just have ice cream." The man suggested.

"Yes we're sure." Lois retorted.

"Come on Peter we're going to hide in the safe house." Lois called out.

"Aww can I finish my ice cream first?" Peter questioned.

"No Peter now come on." Lois yelled out.

She then pulled Peter away by the ear. Peter then stuffed a chunk of ice cream in Meg's mouth. She swallowed it and screamed in terror.

"Ah brain freeze." She yelled out.

Back at the Griffins house Helen had calmed down after her little temper tantrum and was currently looking for clues as to where the Griffins had went to.

"Those idiots." Helen grumbled to herself. "They took my son away from me I was so close. He's mine not there's."

She was currently looking through Meg's room when suddenly Meg's Evil Monkey jumped out of the closet barring it's teeth and pointing his fist at her.

"Who are you suposed to be the pet monkey?" Helen questioned.

The Monkey continued to stare at her.

"Stop looking at me you primate bastard." She screamed in anger.

She then took her pistol out and fired it at the Evil Monkey.

The animal screeched in terror as it ran back into the closet.

The Police escorted the Griffins to the safe house. They were then signed in and shown to their room. The family were currently unpacking all the things left in the room for them. Including a cot for Stewie.

"This place is like a freakin' hotel." Peter commented.

"Yeah except it's a place for people who've got a criminal after them like with Stewie." Lois explained.

"Mum do you think we'll be allowed to go home?" Meg asked.

"Well unfortunatly Meg until Helen is caught and thrown back in IronGate we're stuck here." Lois answered.

"And if we did go back now there's a very high chance that Helen will come back and get away with Stewie." Brian explained before adding. "Oh and there's also a high chance that she'll kill us all."

Later on Stewie sat next to Brian on the couch and began to annoy him.

"So Brian you been working on that new novel you know the one you've been working on for three years." Stewie said in a sly high pitched voice. "You got a good story going there you know a begining a middle and an end.

Brian then turned to Stewie and sighed .

"Stewie you wouldn't read it anyway you wouldn't understand it. Just like you couldn't understand the Shining." Brian said.

 **Flashback**

Stewie was sitting in the Griffins living room reading the Shining upside down.

"Arggh this blasted book makes no sense." Stewie yelled out in anger as he threw the book against the wall.

 **End Flashback**

Stewie then walked through to the room that Peter and Lois would be sleeping in and began to annoy Lois who was relaxing on the bed after unpacking. Stewie then began speaking.

"Lois, Lois, Lois, Lois, Lois, Lois, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mumma, Mumma, Mumma, MA, MA, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Lois, Lois, mum, mum, mum, mum, mummy, mummy."

Lois bolted up from the bed.

"WHAT?" She screamed in an irritated voice.

Stewie just gave her a small smile.

"Hi just felt like annoying you." The young infant explained.

"Ok well mummy's trying to relax sweetie." Lois answered "so I'll play with you later."

"Ok." Stewie replied.

He then ran out the room giggling.

Quagmire was out in the front garden putting the bins out when suddenly he caught a glimpse of a figure walking towards him.

"Oh man that woman is so fat." Quagmire Said to himself. "Hay get out of here you fat pig I wouldn't do you."

Quagmire was then grabbed by his shirt collar and saw Helen glaring down at him. Quagmire began to feel slightly nervous.

"Oh um giggidy it's you Helen I didn't even realise it was you um I hope you didn't take that pig comment seriously." Quagmire said.

Helen just growled in anger.

"You are a sad sick little man you know that. So do you know where the Griffins have gone?" She asked.

Quagmire was at first confused by this question until he looked over and saw the Griffins car wasn't in their driveway. Quagmire then gulped.

"Wow I didn't even realise they had left I was to busy watching the lovely ladies on the TV." Quagmire said. "But even if I did know where they were I wouldn't tell you, you evil fat twisted psychopath monsterous bitch. I remember what you did you."

But before Quagmire could finish Helen screamed in anger and punched him in the face. She then punched him in the stomach and threw him into his bin.

Quagmire then rose up off the grass slightly.

"Oh I do like women that have fight in them giggidy." He stated in a weak voice.

He then passed out.

Later that evening the Griffins were sitting in the living room.

"Hay Lois." Peter said in a sly voice. "I was thinking that since we don't have to worry about gaurd duty anymore tonight we could get under the covers and have some fun."

Lois then chuckled.

"Oh Peter I know what you mean." She said in a sly voice. "It'll be good to relax and get naughty now that we're safe in here."

The pair then began laughing before they started kissing each other.

"I just can't believe it's been reduced to this." Brian commented. "I thought that after we braught Stewie home that would be the end of it but obviously she still hasn't given up."

"Oh why can't Helen just accept that she can't have kids and that Stewie isn't her son." Lois moaned in annoyance.

"Because she's a deluded psychopath." Peter explained in an angry voice.

"Well thankfully the security is high." Lois continued. "So if she did find us then she won't be able to get in. I won't let her take my baby away from me again."

Lois then held Stewie close to her.


	6. Chapter 6 Old Friends Return

Chapter 6 A New Friend

It had been two days since the Griffins had arrived at the safe house. They were currently exploring the cafe area or the relaxation area as Peter called it.

"Hay Lois do you think they have a bar in this place?" Peter moaned. "I haven't drank a bottle of beer since we got here."

Lois just sighed.

"Yes Peter there's a bar over there." Lois replied.

She then pointed to the bar.

Peter's eyes widened in delight as he charged at the bar.

The middle aged man then began gulping down beers and spinning around on his stool while singing in a high pitched drunk voice.

The others just rolled their eyes as they walked away.

"Mum why does dad always humiliate us in front of everyone?" Meg questioned while looking at Peter in shame.

"Don't worry Meg I've been trying to figure that out for years." Lois answered.

Lois then went to sit over at a sun chair with Stewie currently sitting on her lap.

A woman then came to sit next to Lois. She looked to be in her early 40s. She had long blonde hair and was wearing a blue tank top with matching coulerd joggers. She also wore a pair of trainers.

"Well if it isn't Lois Griffin." The woman stated. "Long time no see."

"Yes we arrived here two days ago." Lois explained.

She was finnaly relieved to be able to talk to someone other than her family.

Jenifer smiled.

"So why are you hiding in here again?" Jenifer asked.

"Well we're hiding from that crazy fat woman who's after Stewie." Lois explained.

She then indicated her youngest son. Jenifer was shocked by this

"Wait you don't mean Helen Parks do you ?" Jenifer questioned while tickling Stewie.

"Yes I mean her." Lois explained. "You see about two months ago we were out shopping and my husband Peter had taken Stewie to the Toy Store, He was suposed to keep an eye on Stewie but left him on his own to go play Pac-Man. Then Stewie got kidnapped by this woman named Helen Parks who couldn't have kids because she was a drug addict and had drinking problems, The Police then got him back with the help of me and the rest of my family and Helen's ex husband Dave. After that Helen was suposed to be locked away in IronGate for twenty years but now after two months she's escaped and knows where we live."

"Blimey!" Jenifer exclaimed. "That must've been a terrible time for you and your family."

"It was." Lois replied. "So why are you in here?"

Jenifer then got a sad look on her face.

"Well you see a few years ago I got married to a man named Mike however it wasn't a happy relationship." Jenifer explained. "He was a complete control freak and if I didn't do what he told me to do he would beat me up."

"Oh my." Lois cried out in horror while putting her hands to her mouth.

"It was awful." Jenifer replied. "He never let me see my friends, he forced me to become a housewife and do all the work, he also beat me if I never got things done quick enough and when I didn't want to have sex with him he."

The woman then gulped in fear at the memories.

"Oh my god Jenifer I'm so sorry." Lois commented in a sympathetic voice.

"He also threatened to kill me if I ever left him." Jenifer continued. "Then when Kady was born things got worse, He refused to let me see my parents or any other relatives I couldn't even phone them. I wasn't allowed to go out anywhere except for shopping. Then one night he went for Kady and after that I left him and went here. I've lived here for three months and I can't go home at all."

Lois looked at Jenifer with sympathy. She then noticed that Kady who had been sitting on Jenifer's lap had walked over to Stewie. Kady was the same age and height as Stewie. She had long blonde hair and was wearing a pink shirt with Hello Kitty on it. She also wore a purple skirt and silver sandals.

"Hay there Stewie you wanna go play before the adult conversation bores us?" She asked.

"I thought you'd never ask." Stewie commented in a relieved voice.

The two then ran off to play.

"Hay it looks like Kady's taken a shine to your Stewie." Jenifer said while chuckling.

"Isn't that cute." Lois commented.

"Come on let's get out of here before those two kill us due to embarresment." Kady stated sarcasticly.

Stewie laughed in agreement and the two wondered off.

"So is it true that you got kidnapped?" Kady asked in an amazed voice.

"Yes it's true." Stewie answered. "That woman was one nasty peace of work let me tell you. She slapped me several times and shut me in her own closet and then she tried to run away with me to Texas."

"Wow." Kady said. "It must've been really scary being taken away from your parents."

"It was quite scary but also frustrating at the same time." Stewie replied. Because every time I got close to escaping she kept pulling me back."

The two then passed Peter who was spinning on his chair while singing Poker Face by Lady Gagga in a high pitched drunk voice.

"Wow look at that fat guy he's absolutely ridiculas." Kady commented.

Stewie just rolled his eyes

"Good god Fatman how ridiculous can you get." Stewie cried out in horror.

Kady then looked at Stewie with a shocked look on her face.

"Wait you know that guy?" Kady said in a shocked voice.

"Yes." Stewie replied. "He's my dad and I'm so sorry about his behaviour."

"You know my dad used to get drunk all the time." Kady explained. "And whenever he did he hit my mummy."

"Good god at least the Fatman isn't like that." Stewie remarked. "He just acts stupid when he's drunk, come to think of it he's stupid even when he's sober

Kady then laughed.

"I hope that my daddy dosn't find out where me and mummy are if he did he'll kill me as well." Kady said.

"Aww don't worry about that." Stewie stated. "Even if he was able to find you he wouldn't be able to get in because the security is way to high. The same can be said for that vile fat pig."

Kady began laughing hysterically at this comment.

Jenifer then picked Kady up.

"come on Kady time for lunch." She stated.

"Someone else needs their lunch to." Lois said as she scooped Stewie up.

"Ah unhand me vile woman I was having a great conversation." Stewie whined.

Lois just smiled at her youngest son.

"It looks like you've taken quite a shine to Kady I'm so glad you've made a new friend." Lois said.

"You know somthing Lois for once I actually agree with you." Stewie replied.

Back on Spooner Street Helen was stomping about trying to figure out where the Griffins had gone. Helen was so frustrated that as soon as she saw a bear walk by Cleveland's house she grabbed it and lobbed it at the house in front of her. Helen then marched away in disgust as the front of the house collapsed revealing Cleveland taking a bath.

"What the hell!" Cleveland exclaimed.

He then became horrified as the bathtub began sliding towards the edge.

"No, no, no, no, no NO." He cried out in horror as he attempted to keep the bath from slipping.

It was no use as the bath tipped over the edge and fell into the front garden taking all the water and Cleveland with it. Cleveland then noticed the dead bear.

"Oh that's just nasty." He stated.

(AN Alright so from now on everything after this chapter is my creation except for the OCs I don't own. Anyway just a heads up but the next few chapters will have musical numbers.)


	7. The Crazy One Hunts On

(AN Ok I need to set the continuity of this story straight. You see I consider all fanfiction canon yes even the terrible ones and I believe they all exist via the multiverse theory so all fanfiction universes run parallel with the TV show universe or the core canon. Anyway the first story takes place after 420 and this story takes place in between Season 7 and 8 it's the same with the third story.)

Chapter 7 The Crazy One Hunts On

It had now been several days since the Griffins had left Spooner Street. Helen had now begun to live on the street. She managed to survive by stealing food and other supplies.

"They won't stop me from taking Stewie back." Helen muttered to herself in a voice laced with insanity. "I will find the Griffins and I will have that baby if it's the last thing I do."

Helen then snarled in anger as Lois entered her thoughts.

"That monsterous redhead she will pay most of all for destroying my wonderful plans." Helen declared. "I'll kill that little bitch if I have to."

She then realised somthing.

"No I have to murder her she will pay for everything and the rest of her family will die to." Helen said out loud.

Helen then hid behind some bins as two Police Officers walked by.

"Those fat fools in uniform they're not smart even an insane woman could outsmart them." Helen whispered to herself.

The crazy woman then began to laugh in a meanacing tone.

Quagmire was currently sitting in his living room when he decided to look out the window. He then glanced over to the right making sure that a certain fat psychopath wasn't lurking about. He then looked over at the still empty driveway of 31 Spooner Street.

"Where the hell are they?" Quagmire thought to himself in a concerned voice. "They couldn't have gone on holiday and they can't be away to see Lois's parents because Peter would've said."

Quagmire then remembered his encounter with Helen and how she'd been desperate to know where the Griffins had went.

"Oh god I bet that fat bitch has somthing to do with this." Quagmire said to himself in a nervous voice.

He then dashed out the door and went over to Cleveland's house. After ringing the doorbell a few times Cleveland came out.

"Oh hi Glen what are you all nervous about?" Cleveland asked.

"Cleveland we've got a serious problem it's been eight days since we last saw Peter or any of the others and their car is still not there." Quagmire replied.

"Do you think somthing happened to them?" Cleveland asked.

"I'm not sure Cleveland." Quagmire replied. "But I think Helen might have somthing to do with this.

"Well we could always go to the house and check." Cleveland suggested.

Quagmire nodded in agreement and the two headed over to the Griffins front door which was open just a crack. The two then pushed the door open and entered the living room.

"What the hell." Quagmire cried out in alarm.

"'Oh that's just nasty." Cleveland replied.

The living room was completley trashed. The couch along with the chair, TV, radio and coffe table were knocked over and lying on their sides. The walls were riddled with bullet holes and the floor was covered in chicken feathers.

"Giggidy it looks like a war zone in here." Quagmire stated.

"I think there has been a war in here." Cleveland explained.

They also noticed that all the pictures that hung on the walls were lying on the floor smashed. The pair then headed upstairs and found that it was in the same state.

"Hmm it looks like Helen was trying to find clues about where the Griffins went." Cleveland suggested.

"I think your right." Quagmire answered. "She must've found out where they lived and tried to take Stewie again and maybe the giant chicken was involved.

"Hay maybe Joe knows where they are." Said Cleveland.

Quagmire nodded in agreement.

Joe was currently sitting in his wheelchair in his living room.

"BONNIE QUICK I CAN'T TIE THIS BLOODY TIE." Joe screamed out in a high pitched hysterical voice.

Bonnie then ran through.

"Ok Joe just calm down." Bonnie said.

However this didn't stop Bonnie from laughing slightly. She then bent down and showed Joe for the thousandth time how to tie a tie. Joe then calmed down.

"Thank you Bonnie."

"You're welcome." Bonnie replied.

Susie was watching all this.

Man I still can't believe those two idiots are my parents." She said to herself.

Suddenly Quagmire and Cleveland came charging through the front door with comedicly crazed looks on their faces.

"Joe do you know where Peter and the others are?" Quagmire asked while yelling.

Joe got a nervous look on his face.

"Um no I have no idea where they are I didn't even know they left." Joe answered.

"Don't play dumb with us Joe we know that you know somthing." Cleveland explained in a casual voice.

Joe then put a smug smile on.

"And what'll you do if I don't talk?" Joe questioned.

The pair then braught razors out and activated them.

"We'll cut your hair." Quagmire stated.

The wheelchair bound Officer became horrified.

"Oh god please I love my hair the way it is." Joe yelled out in an overly exaggerated voice.

"Start talking then." Quagmire demanded.

"Never. Joe replied." "That's top secret information."

"Very well." The pair said.

They then walked over to Joe razors held high above his hair. Joe's eyes widened in absolute fear.

"All right, all right I'll tell you they're hiding in a safe house five miles away from the Police Station." Joe yelled out in a horrified voice.

Quagmire and Cleveland deactivated the razors.

"Thanks." The pair replied.

They then walked out.

Meanwhile over at the safe house Stewie, Brian and Kady were having so much fun playing.

Kady then turned to Stewie.

"So Stewie I have to ask what do you hope to do when your older?"

A wicked grin spread across Stewie's face.

"Well Kady I'm going to take over the world and be supreme leader." The young infant stated.

"Wow." Kady cried out in amazement. "I've also got another question do you think we'll ever get out of here and go home?"

"Well of course we will hopefully your daddy will be locked up in prison where he belongs and the same can be said for Helen. Hopefully she'll be thrown into the nuthouse and share the same cell as my fat person strangeling uncle." Stewie answered.

Wait you have an uncle that hates fat people. Kady stated while wearing a bemused face.

"Long story." Stewie quickly replied. "

Well that's a relief." Kady commented because I need to do business.

Brian then walked over to Stewie and Kady.

"You know Kady you shouldn't listen to Stewie about world domination he's never succeeded." Brian said.

"Well Brian I'll have you know that I'm just waiting for the right opportunity." Stewie retorted.

"Yeah right." Brian replied in a teasing voice.

Helen was stomping down Spooner Street still thinking about where the Griffins were hiding when she walked by Old Man Herbert's house. Herbert gave Helen a hatful look.

"You know I don't trust you since you drove my favourite infant away." He said.

Helen snarled at him.

"Aww well unfortunatly I have no sympathy for you old man or any of the pathetic people living on this stupid street. I just want my son back." Replied Helen in a mocking voice.

Herbert just chuckled.

"Well unfortunatly I don't trust you and I certainly wouldn't help you kidnap Stewie again I actually like him and I remember what you did you bitch." Herbert said.

Jessie then ran up to Helen and began to bark and growl.

"Shoo get away from me you flee ridden mutt." She barked out.

However Jessie didn't back down instead she tried to snap at Helen.

"GOD DAMNIT GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE." Helen screamed out.

She then kicked Jessie causing her to run back inside.

"Now that wasn't very nice." Herbert commented. "Kicking an innocent dog you monsterous son of a.

Before Herbert could finish Helen braught her gun out and aimed it at Herbert.

"Oh now wait please don't. Herbert started."

But before he could attempt to walk inside Helen pulled the trigger.


	8. Shut your stupid mouth Joe

Chapter 8 SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH JOE

(AN Don't let the chapter title fool you I really like Joe but let's just say that he's going to do somthing really stupid that warrants this title.

That evening Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe were sitting at their usual spot in the Drunken Clam.

"Hay did you here that Helen just shot Herbert." Quagmire stated.

"Yeah." Joe replied, but thankfuly she shot him in the shoulder he's going to be fine."

"That bitch is off her rocker." Cleveland commented. "She even threw a bear at my house which caused it to die."

"Yeah that's nuts. Quagmire stated. I can't believe she made Peter and the others run away and all because she thinks Stewie is her son."

"I know. Cleveland stated. "She just can't accept the fact that Stewie's not her son she'll do anything to get him."

"Yeah well thankfuly they're all safe in the." Quagmire was about to say.

Joe thankfuly slapped his hand over Quagmire's mouth.

"Shhh Quagmire don't say that out loud we've no idea who could be listening." Joe cried out in a hushed and horrified voice.

Quagmire then pushed Joe's hand of his mouth.

"Hay I know how about we phone Peter and see if he can come up with a way to get rid of Helen." Quagmire suggested.

"That's a great idea." Joe replied.

He then got his phone out and dialled in Peter's number.

Peter was currently sitting at the bar when his phone began to vibrate, Peter jumped up in fright and spiled a bit of beer onto his shirt. Peter then fell on the floor and quickly took his phone out.

"Hello." Peter said into the phone.

"Hay Peter." Joe's voice said through the receiver.

"Joe." Peter cried out in delight. "Boy am I glad to here your voice but how come you haven't called me in the past eight days."

"Um we didn't realise you were gone till now except me of course." Joe explained. "Anyway Peter we need your help Helen's still stomping around Spooner Street so far she's beat Quagmire up, killed a bear and shot old man Herbert."

"Holy crap." Peter cried out in horror. "So you want me to come up with a plan to get rid of her."

"Exactly Peter." Joe stated. "So you got any ideas."

Peter then began to think for a few moments. He knew they couldn't go home or else Helen would grab Stewie so he needed to get someone who could take Helen down someone who really hates fat people.

"That's it." Peter cried out. "We can get them to release Patrick from Brookfield Insane Asylum and get him to hunt Helen down."

The sound of Quagmire choking on beer could be heard.

"Peter that's a crazy idea Patrick's still unstable around fat people but that plan could be crazy enough to work." Joe commented.

"I know it'll work Joe." Peter replied. "Besides your talking to one of the biggest geniuses in Quahog. It's as brilliant as that time I tried braking into Carter's mansion."

 **Flashback**

Peter was climbing over the gate of Carter's mansion. It was late at night and Peter couldn't see what awaited him below. He then dropped down from the gate only to be greeted by several security gaurds.

"Oh hay guys nice night out." Peter said in a nervous voice.

He then gulped.

"The gaurds then surrounded him and beat Peter up."

 **End Flashback**

Helen was currently sitting on a bin and getting fed up. It was quite obvious that the Griffins weren't going to return any time soon and nobody was going to help her due to how crazy she was. Helen suddenly heard the sound of helicopter blades.

"What the bloody hell is that?" She yelled out in anger.

The crazed woman looked up and saw a helicopter hovering over her.

"So they've come up with a plan to stop me." Helen said under her breath while chuckling. "Let them try."

Suddenly the cockpit door opened and Patrick came diving out of the door he then landed on Helen causing her to fall to the ground. Patrick then got on top of her and wrapped his hands around her throat and began to squeez.

"YOU SICK FAT SON OF A BITCH I'LL KILL YOU." Patrick screamed at the top of his lungs. "NOT ONLY ARE YOU FAT BUT YOU KIDNAPPED MY BABY NEPHEW AND YOU LOOK EXACTLY LIKE MY YOUNGER SISTER."

"You're related to Lois." Helen managed to say. "That bitch will pay dearly for taking my son away from me."

Patrick then released his grip slightly.

"What you're even crazier than me not to mention deluded." Patrick stated.

Helen then took her chance and head butted Patrick. She then stood up.

"Oh I know I'm insane but hay at least I don't try and kill innocent women."

Patrick then began laughing insanely he then calmed down.

"You're not innocent all you do is bring chaos and despair." He retorted.

Patrick then looked at Helen closely and began to think.

"She looks very familiar I mean sure she looks like Lois but there's somthing else about her unless no it can't be." He thought.

Patrick then came out of his thoughts and was just about to insult Helen some more when he noticed she was gone.

"Well that's weird." He said.

"You did what." Lois screamed out in horror as Peter explained his plan.

"Relax Lois." Peter was saying. "I'm sure Patrick can deal with her."

"Peter that's not the point." Lois retorted. "Helen's mentally unstable and so is Patrick. He'll end up getting killed."

"Lois are you forgetting that that guy tried to strangle me to death." Peter barked.

Suddenly his phone vibrated. Peter then fished it out of his pocket and answered it.

"Hay Peter Patrick found Helen but she got away." Joe quickly explained in a disappointed voice.

"Is Patrick alright?" Peter questioned.

"Yeah." Joe replied. "He was taken back to his cell."

Peter then put his phone away.

"You see Lois he's fine apart from being insane." Peter reassured her.

Later on Helen was walking past the still empty 31 Spooner Street. She then walked by Joe's house and saw Susie playing in the front garden. Helen's eyes lit up.

"Aww that baby is so cute." She said to herself. "Hay maybe if I can't have Stewie I can always have this one."

Helen then slowly approached the young infant while wearing a sinister smile. Helen was just about to reach down and snatch the baby up when suddenly there was a purple blur that kicked the crazed woman in the face. Helen looked up and saw Bonnie quickly grab Susie.

"You stay away from my baby you twisted psycho freak." Bonnie yelled out.

Helen just sneered at Bonnie.

"I have no intarest in that child I only want my son back." Helen thundered.

Bonnie laughed hysterically.

"So you still can't accept that Stewie's not yours why don't you just leave Lois and the others alone." Bonnie stated.

"LIAR HE IS MY SON AND I WILL NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME ESPECIALY THAT STUPID EVIL REDHEAD." Helen screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Um that lady is pretty mean." Susie thought to himself..

Joe then wheeled out the front door.

"Hay Bonnie what's all the racket for?" Joe questioned.

He then spotted Helen.

"YOU." The Officer yelled out in anger.

Joe then launched himself out of his wheelchair and attempted to pounce on Helen. However the psychopath grabbed Joe by the legs and slammed him onto the grass. She then walked over to him and stepped onto his legs.

"I gauss you're not going to tell me where the Griffins are either are you." Helen suggested.

Joe then glared up at Helen.

"No I won't I'll never tell you that they're hiding in a safe house." Joe said without thinking.

Joe then gasped in horror and clapped his hands over his mouth.

I shouldn't have said that.

A twisted grin then formed on Helen's face as she said. No you shouldn't have. She then grabbed Joe by his shirt collar and pinned him against the wall of his house.

"Alright now tell me where the safe house is?" Helen asked in a low and threatning voice.

"I won't tell you." Joe stated.

"Very well then." Helen stated. "If you won't tell me then I'll kill your wife and daughter."

She then braught her gun out and pointed it at Bonnie.

"You're bluffing." Joe replied.

"TELL ME OR I'LL BRAKE BOTH YOUR ARMS." Helen bellowed out.

"You really think I'm stupid enough to tell you that the safe house is five miles away from the Police station OH CRAP." Joe shouted out.

Joe then made a mental note to think before he opened his big mouth.

Helen then gave of an evil laugh filled with pure insanity.

"That's all I needed to know." Helen simply said.

She then punched Joe in the face a couple of times before slamming his body into the ground she then kicked his wheelchair over and ran of. Bonnie then ran over to her husband and helped him back into his wheelchair.

"Joe are you alright?" She asked in a concerned voice.

"No I'm not." Joe commented. "You have to get me down to the Police Station so they can alert the safe house."

"But Joe you're hurt." Bonnie stated.

"I don't care." Joe retorted. "If we don't alert the safe house right now Peter and the others are going to be in real danger."

Helen quickly found the safe house and was observing it from a distance.

"Damn that place is way to secure." Helen said to herself. "I'm going to need some help if I want to get in."

Helen began to wander around Quahog she then walked by her old flat.

"I don't need that traitors help Dave was just to nice." Helen muttered to herself remembering how her ex husband had betrayed her.

Helen then walked down an alleyway and came across somthing very intaresting. A large crowd of people were gathered in a clearing talking amongst themselves. They wore old baggy cloths. Helen intrigued by this approached the group.

"Hello there this is a very strange place for a meeting what are you doing?" Helen asked.

Everyone in the crowd suddenly stopped talking as they turned around to face her. One person got up to approach her. He wore a ripped vest that had alcahol stains on it, his hair was short and gray and he smelled like alcohol.

"Are you a new member?" He asked.

"Member?" Helen repeated in a confused voice.

"Yes." The man replied. "The names Mike by the way and this is the meeting place of the outlaw gang."

He then gestured to the group before him who began cheering in triumph a large dirty banner over them read

The Outlaw Gang a gang dedicated to the eradication of those who hide like cowards.

Mike then turned back to Helen.

Our goal is to find a whole bunch of cowards who ran away from us because they couldn't face true justice. We've been trying to find them for ages but still no luck.

Helen then smiled deviously.

"Well what a coincidence I'm also looking for a bunch of cowards who ran away from me the names Helen by the way Helen Parks and I know where all these people are hiding." Helen explained.

"You do." Mike stated. "Then tell us where and who you're trying to kill."

Well you see I was once married to a man named Dave we both wanted a child but unfortunatly we couldn't conceive and we couldn't adopt because Child Services denied us because I used to be a drug dealer and have drinking problems. The crazed woman began.

The gang members were currently crying and giving Helen sympathetic looks.

"Anyway." Helen continued. "After a while I went to the Toy Store at the local mall and saw the most adorable child ever and his name was Stewie, So I braught him home with me and claimed him as my own son. But then an evil family known as the Griffins claimed that I took Stewie away from them and wanted him back but I was no fool I could see right through their wicked lies and they were led by a big fat oaf wearing glasses and worst of all a monsterous insane red headed evil kleptomaniac named Lois."

The other gang members were now bawling.

"Oh this is so sad." One of them wailed.

And then Dave betrayed me and I was chased by the Police." Helen continued." They then threw me in prison when I tried to escape to Texas and my sweet baby was given to that red headed bitch." But I escaped prison and tried to get my son back however the Griffins escaped and are now hiding in a safe house five miles away from the Police station which is where those other cowerds are hiding."

Everyone began cheering and laughing in insane voices.

"Well Helen it would be an honour if you became the leader of this gang." Mike said. "Lead us into battle and we will take revenge on everyone who has wronged us."

Helen then gave Mike a small smile.

"It would be my pleasure." She replied.

Mike then shook her hand.

"Yeah when I break into that safe house I'm going to murder my wife and daughter Jenifer and Kady will pay dearly for leaving me." Mike stated.

A short girl with brown hair and wearing a blue tank top stood up.

"Yeah well those two twins that witnessed me murder someone will burn Jake and James your time is coming."

Another woman stood up. She was tall and had long brown hair. She wore a pale blue shirt with a bright blue blazer over it.

"You know Helen I quite agree with you Child Services are terrible I used to work for them the names Sandy Belford." Sandy said. "I got fired after I took a child into a foster home. But suposidly I made a massive mistake because the mum wasn't actually the mum and she was lying just to get a bag, Also I had to deal with some annoying redhead that I happily had two Police Officers jump her oh that was so funny the way she started crying when I took Stewie off her the hurt tone in her voice and the distraught look on her face."

Sandy then began laughing as she took a recorder out and started playing it. Lois's voice then came through the speakers.

"How dare you this is a wonderful home." Lois cried out in an offended voice.

She then fast forwarded it a tiny bit and played it. Lois's voice then played through the speaker.

"STEWIE." Lois shouted in a hurt voice.

"And I also used mental abuse on Stewie and got into trouble for that to." Sandy said. Also I realise that's the child you're after I'll help you just to see that distraught look on that redhead's face.

Helen then started to wander about as she did so she began to sing.

(AN Song being parodied is that's My lulaby from The Lion King 2 Simba's Pride.)

Helen: You should all get some rest.

You must be exhausted.

Wait, my little Stewie

Mummy will save you soon

When I break into that Safe House

You'll be mine again

Mike (spoken): Good night...

Helen (spoken): Good nigh, friend.

Tomorrow, your training intensifies.

I've been imprisoned, denied children

had my son taken away from me

When I think of what that redhead did

Helen suddenly clenched her fist in anger

I get a little tense

But I dream a dream so pretty

That I don't feel so depressed

'Cause it soothes my inner kitty

And it helps me get some rest

The sound of Lois's dying gasp

Mike then pretended to gasp in pain before falling on the floor and acting as though he were dead

Her children and that mutt begging for their lives

Mike then got up and grabbed Katie but imediatly got kicked in the face a few times

Her husbands mournful cry

That's my lullaby

Now the past I've tried forgetting

And my foes I could forgive

Helen began trapping a spider between her fingers.

Trouble is, I knows it's petty

The crazed woman then squashed the bug with her fist

But I hate to let them live

Mike: So you'll break into the SafeHouse and reclaim what's rightfully yours

Helen put her hand under Mike's chin.

Helen: Oh, the battle may be bloody, but that kind of works for me.

The crazed woman then knocked Mike to the floor

The melody of angry growls

Helen slowly crept up behind Mike

A counterpoint of painful howls

She then stepped on Mike's back causing him to scream in terror

A symphony of death, oh my!

That's my lullaby

Dave is gone... but I don't need that idiot

i'll have my baby back

Because I've learned to be a killer

With a lust for being bad!

Mike: Wait, ya little termite!

Uh- I mean, precious little thing!

Katie: When we break into that SafeHouse -

Helen: You'll be mine again!

Helen then stood on top of a pile of garbage.

The pounding of the drums of war

The thrill of the Griffins dying screams

Mike: The joy of vengeance

Katie: Testify!

Helen: I can hear the cheering

Mike and Katie were holding up tiny flags

Mike and Katie: Helen! What a girl!

Helen: Payback time is nearing

And then I'll have my son back

And we'll go back to Texas

That's my lullaby!

Helen then began laughing in a wicked voice.

(AN Well that was Chapter 8 big shout out to Family Guy Fan Writter 15 for his suggestion of using Patrick. Keep the suggestions coming and remember to read and review. Oh and just to let you know that we're nearing the end of the story and that at the end somthing very shocking will happen or should I say two things however I'm not going to tell you so you're just going to have to wait all I'm saying is you won't see either of them coming.


	9. Chapter 9 Time To Go To War

Chapter 9 Time To Go To War

(AN Welcome to Chapter 8 as always I don't own Family Guy or any OCs except for my own. Anyway credit goes to Family Guy Fan Writter 15 for the Cutaway Gag in this chapter.)

Lois and Jenifer were currently sitting on the sun chairs. Stewie and Kady were sitting on their laps talking with each other.

"So Stewie you getting board here yet?" Kady asked in a teasing voice.

"Not in the slightest." Stewie commented. "I mean I'm so calm and relaxed and nothing is going to ruin that."

Suddenly a voice came over the Tanoy.

"Would all residents please report to the main hall immediately." The voice said. "I repeat would all residents please report to the main hall right now."

Lois and Jenifer got up and joined the rest of the crowd as they made their way to the large assembly hall. When they entered they stood in front of the stage and watched as a muscular security gaurd wheeled a TV on to the front stage.

"I wonder what this is all about?" Brian questioned.

"I've no idea Brian." Lois replied. "But I'm sure we'll find out."

"Maybe they'll announce that all the bad people after everyone have died." Peter suggested while chuckling.

"Dad that's horrible." Meg stated.

"Shut up Meg." Peter replied.

The gaurd then stood in the middle of the stage. He was sweating slightly and he was wearing a sheepish smile.

"Um hi there my name's Garry." The gaurd began. "And I hate to be the barer of truly horrifying news but unfortunatly you're all in serious danger."

Everyone then began to mutter amongst themselves.

"Danger what's he on about?" Jenifer whispered to Chris who just shrugged his shoulders while picking his nose.

"What do you think's happening Stewie?" Kady whispered.

"I'm not sure." Stewie replied. "But it can't be good whatever it is."

Garry then made a loud coughing noise getting everyone's attention.

"Ok this morning a local gang known as the Outlaws interrupted the morning News." Garry explained. "They know where the safe house is and they're coming so here's what the leader had to say."

Garry then switched the TV on. He then selected a recording of the morning News and played it. Garry then fastforworded it and resumed normal play when it showed digital distortion and static fill the screen. Suddenly Helen's face filled the screen. The Griffins jumped in fright as they saw this.

"I'll take it that's Helen." Kady muttered.

Stewie just nodded while shaking in fear.

Helen then stood back to reveal a huge crowd of people standing behind her with a banner above them that read. The Outlaw Gang. Helen then began to speak.

"Good morning residents of Quahog Rhoad Island I would talk to you personally but that's not important what's important is that I know where the safe house is." Helen began in a voice laced with pure lunacy.

"It's five miles away from the Police station and all these people including myself want to get in there and take vengeance on those that ran away from true justice like cowerds." Helen stated.

"Griffins I know you're hiding in there and I know you're watching so listen very carefully. If you don't come back to Spooner Street within 24 hours and surrender Stewie to me my army will march into the safe house Tommorow night and murder every single person living in it except Stewie of course who I will take back as my son." Helen demanded.

"But even if you do come to Spooner Street I'll kill you all anyway except for my sweet little Stewie." Helen explained. I'm actually really looking forword to killing you especialy you red. So it's your choice either do what's right and die with dignity or tremble in fear with the rest of these cowerds and die a horrible and painful death."

Helen then began to laugh insanely.

"And if you think we can't get into the safe house then think again."She stated. "One of our members Bill was fired from the post of being head of security because he tried to give detailed blueprints of the security system to the criminals after you cowerds. He still has those blueprints and they're from two days ago so esentialy burn in hell."

The screen then cut to coulerd bars before cutting to Tom and Diane hugging each other while shaking in fear.

Garry then switched the recording off before turning the TV off. The room was then filled with people talking loudly in panicked voice.

Lois then looked at Peter with a terrified look in her eyes.

"Oh my god Peter what are we going to do." Lois said in a terrified voice.

"Don't worry Lois I've got a brilliant idea." Peter replied.

"Oh really." Lois stated not believing that her husband could come up with any good ideas.

Two identacle twins with spikey ginger hair and red shirts turned to the Griffins.

"Well if we want to solve our problems then these lot have to leave." One of them shouted out.

"That's right Jake." One of the twins said. "The only reason we're in trouble is because the crazy fat lady wants their baby. So I say we force them to leave and give that football headed freak to the fat crazy freak."

"Well said James." Another resident said.

Everyone then began to crowd around the Griffins yelling.

"Get out of here." One yelled.

"You'll get us all killed." Another shouted out.

"just give that misshapen headed freak to the other freak." Another demanded.

"Now hold on a minute." Lois barked. "We have every right to be here just as much as you do. Even if we do go back Helen will just send her army in here and you'll all die anyway."

"Lois is right." Brian stated. "We have to stick together and do somthing about this."

"We can go to NASA and live on the Moon." Peter suggested.

Everyone just gave Peter a dumbfounded look before laughing loudly at him.

"Well it was worth a suggestion. Peter said in an exasperated voice while shrugging his shoulders."

"But I do have a better idea." Peter continued. We should rally everyone together and create an army to fight against The Outlaws.

"What that's crazy." Meg stated. "Helen is way to strong and we can't fight well most of us anyway."

"Shut up Meg." Everyone yelled out before throwing some food at her.

"That's a great idea." Garry stated. "I'm sure if we all work together we can fight these invaders off. We can't run away because they'll continue to hunt us down so we'll stand and fight to the death as la resistance or the safe house protection brigade."

Garry then began to sing.

(AN Song being parodied is La Resistance from South Park Bigger Longer And Uncut.)

Garry:

God has smiled upon you this day

The fate of a Safe house in your hands

And blessed be the children we,

who fight with all our bravery

'til only the righteous stand.

You see the distant flames, they bellow in the night.

You fight in all our names for what we know is right.

And when you all get shot and cannot carry on

Though you die, La Resistance lives on.

Garry and the safe house residents:

You may get stabbed in the head with a dagger or sword.

You may be burned to death or skinned alive or worse.

But when they torture you, you will not feel the need to run

For though you die, La Resistance lives on.

Meanwhile at the Outlaw hideout the Outlaw gang were singing as well.

Outlaw Gang:

Blame The authoroties! Blame The authoroties!

Helen:

Because the country's gone awry, tomorrow night these freaks will die!

Outlaw Gang members:

Tomorrow night, our lives will change. Tomorrow night, we'll be entertained. An masacare, what a sight. Tomorrow night.

Mike:

In there, there is Jenifer and Kady, who ran from me like big cowerds

Tomorrow night, those two are doomed and so I will be going soon!

Jake And James:

Shut your fucking face, uncle fuka! You're a boner biting bastard, uncle Fuka!

Jake:

Looks like we may be out of luck!

James:

Tomorrow night we're pretty fucked!

Stewie And Kady:

Why did Helen start this war? What the fuck is she fighting for? When did this song become a marathon?

Mike:

I want to be up there...

Helen:

When Lois is dead and gone, there'll be no where for Stewie to run!

Garry:

They may cut your dick in half.

Outlaw Gang Members:

Tomorrow night.

Garry:

And serve it to a pig.

Outlaw Gang Members:

Our lives will change.

Garry:

And though it hurts, you'll laugh.

Outlaw Gang Members:

Tomorrow night.

Garry:

And you'll dance a dickless jig.

Outlaw Gang Members:

We'll be entertained.

Garry:

But that's the way it goes.

Outlaw Gang Members:

A masacare!

Garry:

In war, you're shat upon! Though you die..

Mike:

I want to kill... Them bothhhhhhhhhh...

Garry:

...La Resistance...

Peter, Lois, Meg, Chris, Stewie and Brian: Tomorrow we fight, for La Resistaaance!

Garry:

...Lives on!

Outlaw Gang members:

Our lives will change! We'll be entertained! Tomorrow night!

Outlaw Gang:

Just don't cry out, "Blame yourselves!" Blame the authoroties! Blame the authoroties! Blame the authoroties!

eryone then began to get ready for a fight.

"So Stewie you got any plans for how to fight?" Kady questioned.

"Of course I do Kady." Stewie replied in a mock hurt voice. "You're looking at a baby genius here I'll teach you everything I know about self defence."

"Do you think Lois will fight Helen?" Kady questioned.

"There's no doubt in my mind." Stewie replied. "She'll do anything to protect me. Although if she fails to stop Helen then I'll have no choice but to use Plan B." Stewie said that last part in a slightly nervous but sinister tone.

"Why do I get the feeling Plan B isn't somthing anybody's going to like." Kady commented.

Because it isn't. Stewie replied. He then whispered into Kady's ear what the plan was. The young infants eyes widened in absolute horror.

"What. Stewie you can't be serious that's the most terrifying, stupid and dangerous plan I've ever heard of." Kady cried out in horror.

Stewie turned to her.

"I know Kady but it might be the only way to stop Helen from killing my family and allow them to go home." Stewie replied in a voice quivering with fear.

Brian then walked over to them.

"Hay what's all the noise for?" Brian questioned.

"Stewie's got a really bad plan B in case Lois can't stop Helen." Kady quickly cried out.

"Oh and what's this plan Stewie?" Brian asked in a suspicious voice.

"Well that's none of your business dog." The young infant retorted.

Kady then whispered into Brian's ear what the plan was.

The talking dog almost choked on his martini.

"Stewie that's a very bad idea in fact I thought you'd come up with somthing better than this." Brian shouted in horror at Stewie.

Unfortunatly I don't have anything better." Stewie barked out in anger. "So you'll just have to deal with it but this plan is between us three no one else is to know about it not a soul."

"Not even Lois." Brian simply said in a deadpan voice.

"No especialy not Lois she'll try and stop me." Stewie replied.

"You're not going to try and stop me are you?" He asked.

Brian and Kady just sighed sadly.

"No we won't try to stop you." They both said in a defeated tone.

Brian then went to see Lois who was talking to Peter.

"Lois are you seriously thinking of fighting Helen?" Brian asked in a shocked voice.

Lois turned to look at Brian with a determined face.

"Of course I'm going to fight her Brian." Lois answered in a determined voice. "Like I said I'm not going to let Helen take Stewie away from me again so if she thinks that I'm just going to lay down and hand Stewie over to her she's got another thing coming."

"Peter come on you must think this is ridicules." Brian spluttered out.

Peter just glanced at Brian with a cluless look on his face before shrugging his shoulders.

"Fine." Brian said in an exasperated voice while face palming.

Lois then patted Brian on the head.

"And besides Brian I wouldn't let my gaurd down not like the time Peter grabbed my honey." She said.

Cutaway Gag

Peter walked into the kitchen and saw a pot of honey sitting on the table.

"Holy crap honey." Peter cried out in delight.

He then grabbed the pot and ran through to the living room. He then sat on the couch and started to eat the honey.

"Oh boy." Peter cheered in triumph.

After putting a few bits in his mouth Peter spat out some of the honey.

"Argh Griffins don't like honey." Peter stated in a disgusted voice.

Peter then took the pot back through to the kitchen where Lois was waiting.

"Here take it back I don't want it anymore." Peter whined.

"I was going to use that to make Lemon Honey Cupcakes." Lois said in a stern voice. "But now I wouldn't use it now that you got bacteria all over it."

End Cutaway Gag

(AN well that was Chapter Nine. Only four more chapters to go with this story then we'll be finished. Also credit once again goes to Family Guy Fan Writer 15 for the cutaway gag idea. Remember to read and review.


	10. Now We Sound The Drums Of War

Chapter 10 Now We Sound The Drums Of War

Disclaimer I don't own Family Guy and also this chapter contains a few musical numbers.

That night in the room that Peter and Lois were sleeping in Lois was tossing and turning in her sleep clearly having a nightmare.

Lois woke up suddenly as she heard footsteps slowly walking across the living room floor. Lois quietly got out of bed and made her way towards the door. She then slowly opened the door and suddenly heard a door being slammed opened followed by a terrified scream that sounded high pitched and had a British accent to it. Lois then ran into the living room just in time to see Helen run out the door while carrying Stewie.

"STEWIE NO." Lois screamed out in horror.

She then chased after the mad woman and was so far keeping up with her. Lois then chased Helen up onto the roof. Helen then walked to the edge and turned around to face Lois her face was shadowy and her eyes were glowing red.

"You failed red." Helen said in a demonic and distorted voice. Now me and Stewie will be together forever.

She then jumped off the roof and pulled the trigger on her pistol. Lois's eyes were blinded by a white flash.

Lois bolted up in bed screaming in terror and sweating.

Oh thank god it was just a nightmare. Lois stated.

Peter then grunted as he woke up yawning.

"Uh what's the matter Lois?" Peter mumbled.

Peter then put his glasses on and put a hand on his wife's shoulder.

"Oh Peter. Lois whimpered in a panicked voice. "I just had a nightmare.

Peter then chuckled slightly.

"Oh well you're not going to let a nightmare spook you are you?" He asked.

"But Peter Helen came in here and took Stewie. Lois muttered while letting a few tears fall down. I tried chasing after her but she shot me and jumped off the roof with him."

Peter then hugged Lois.

"It's ok Lois Stewie's safe in the crib he's sleeping in and besides Helen has her army with her I doubt she'd just Abanden them to come after Stewie."

"But Peter what if she does come on her own?" Lois questioned. "And takes Stewie away from right under our noses."

"She won't Lois." Peter replied. "Look what I'm trying to say is I know I'm not the best husband or dad in the whole wide world and I know I've made tons of mistakes over the years but I do know this. You can't let this fat crazy pig bitch beat you she's saying these things just to scare you and you're letting her win. Now the Lois Griffin I know would never let a selfish manipulative monster beat her.

Lois then sighed

"I gauss you're right." She said.

"No Lois I know I'm right." Peter stated. "I mean you've never let anything stop you before. When that woman from Child services came and took Stewie away because of Meg's stupidity did you give up."

"No." Lois replied.

"When those burglers broke into our house and shot you after harming you and Meg did you give up." Peter stated.

"No." Lois replied.

"And finnaly Lois who was it that made me realise that I wasn't a woman and who was it that helped me realise that smoking was bad and the new people running the Toy Factory were evil?" Peter asked.

"Me." Lois said in a slightly determined voice.

"Exactly Lois." Peter said in a happy voice. "If it wasn't for you this family would've fallen apart years ago. You're the glue that holds us all together and of course if I was in charge I would make a big mess out of everything."

Lois's heart melted at these words.

"Oh Peter. You're so kind but stupid it's a good thing I left my other boyfriend years ago he was an even bigger cowerd than you are believe it or not." Lois snickered at this comment.

"You're right about that." Peter replied. "You should get back to sleep Lois especialy if you want to kick that fat bitch's ass."

Peter then yawned and fell asleep still wearing his glasses. Lois then took Peter's glasses off and put them on the bedside table. She then quietly slipped out of the room and went to the room that Stewie was sleeping in. She then crept over to the cot and leaned over the bars. Lois smiled to herself as she saw Stewie still curled up under the blanket hugging Rupert and snoring his head off.

The next morning at the Outlaw Gang hideout Helen had returned from Spooner Street. She had been patrolling the area hoping that the Griffins would come to their senses and surrender Stewie to her.

"No sighn of them Helen?" Sandy questioned in a teasing voice.

"No." Helen answered in low angry voice. "And the 24 hour deadline will run out just about now."

As she said this several tiny grains of sand fell to the bottom half of an hourglass which had been filled with sand.

"Then they will face our wrath." Mike commented while chuckling in a wicked manner. "They will burn in hell and we shall crush them like the pathetic insects they are."

Helen then dropped the hourglass on the ground causing it to smash sending sand and glass everywhere. Sandy then got sand on her skirt causing Katie to laugh at her.

"Well looks like you've gotten into a sandy situation." Katie stated while laughing hysterically.

Sandy then glared at her.

"Watch it Kate I could wring your neck right now if I wanted to." Sandy said in a threatning voice.

"You wouldn't have the guts." Katie growled out in anger.

"Watch me." Sandy snapped.

Before they got the chance to enter a cat fight another member stepped between them and pulled them up by the scruff of their necks

"Ok that's enough if you fight now you won't have any energy for tonight." He said.

"Fine." Both women moaned.

After this another member walked up to Helen and handed her a letter.

"Boss this letter was left outside the hideout it seems to be from someone named Dave." The member explained.

"What." Helen yelled out.

She then snatched the letter out of the members hand and began to read.

Dear Helen

can we meet up at the Quahog Docks at lunchtime. I just want to talk to you.

Love from Dave XXX.

Helen scrunched the letter up.

"What does that horrible traitor want?" Helen muttered to herself. "Trying to reason with me no doubt."

Helen then stormed out of the hideout.

"I'm going to brood." She called out in a grumpy voice.

Later on Dave was walking across the docks. After two weeks of living with the Griffins he had found his own house to live in and hoped that the events of two months ago would be forgotten. Sadly that wasn't to be the case. Dave then heard a voice he had been dreading to here again an all to familiar voice with a thick Texan accent.

"Dave you little worm I trusted you but still you betray me." The voice yelled out.

Dave then turned around to see Helen charging right up to him with a look of pure rage on her face.

"Helen." Dave began. "I know what you're going to do and I won't allow it."

Helen then put her brick red face right up to Dave's.

"You won't stop me Dave." Helen growled in anger. Stewie is my son and I will have him back and murder the Griffins.

But Stewie is a Griffin that's actually quite hypocritical saying you want to murder all the Griffins. Dave begged.

Helen then screamed like a wounded animal and punched her ex Husband in the face several times. She then slammed Dave onto the dock floor breaking his nose.

"Don't you ever lie to me." She snapped. "Stewie is my son I found him I braught him home and I raised him."

Dave then looked up.

"God Helen I knew you were deluded before but now you're even more deluded after being in IronGate which is where you belong." Dave replied.

The crazed woman grabbed Dave by the legs and threw him into the water. Dave gave out the Goofy Hollor as he fell into the water. Helen then marched off.

"Stupid waste of space." She muttered.

Back at the safe house Lois was relaxing, after her talk last night with Peter she realised he was right which was a very rare thing in Peter's case.

Peter then came up to Lois with a massive smile on his face.

"I'm going out to get some help for this battle." Peter said.

"Alright Peter." Lois replied. "But dont try to do anything stupid."

Peter just snickered as he ran of.

Back at the Outlaw Gang hideout evening was just approaching and the gang were preparing for the battle ahead. Helen then stood in front of the crowd.

"My dear Outlaws tonight we take our vengeance, tonight we march into the safe house and tonight we murder all those pathetic cowerds who wronged us." Helen began to speak in a voice laced with pure insanity. "But most importantly I shall kill that evil redhead she has caused me so much pain and anger for years."

Helen then began to sing.

(AN Song being parodied is Savages from Pocahontas

Helen:

What can you expect from filthy little cowerds?

"Their whole disgusting race is like a curse!"

They think they know what justice is.

They're only good when dead!

They're vermin, as I said, and worse!

Outlaw Gang Members:

They're cowerds!

cowerds!

Helen:

Barely even human.

Outlaw Gang Members:

Cowerds! cowerds!

Helen:

Drive them from our planet!

They're not like you and me, which means they must be evil.

We must sound the drums of war!

Outlaw Gang Members:

They're cowerds!

cowerds!

Dirty shrieking devils!

Helen and Outlaw Gang Members:

Now we sound the drums of war!

At the SafeHouse everyone was getting prepared for battle as well. Lois then began to sing.

Lois:

This is what we feared.

The gang are going to kill us all

The only thing they feel at all is hate.

Brian:

Beneath that human appearance,

there's emptiness inside.

Meg and Chris:

I wonder if they even bleed.

Protection Brigade members:

They're monsters!

Monsters!

Jake and James:

Barely even human.

Security Gaurds:

Monsters! Monsters!

Lois:

Killers at the core.

Stewie:

They're different from us,

Kady:

which means they can't be trusted.

Lois:

We must sound the drums of war.

Protection Brigade Members:

They're monsters!

Monsters!

Jenifer:

First we have our dinner.

Protection Brigade Members:

Then we sound the drums of war.

Outlaw Gang Members:

Cowerds! Cowerds!

Katie:

Let's go kill a few, Cowerds!

Protection Brigade Members:

Monsters! Monsters!

Helen:

Now it's up to you, men!

All:

Monsters! Cowerds!

Barely even human!

Now we sound the drums of war!

At the safe house the army was ready with Lois leading them.

"I wonder where Peter is?" She thought to herself. "I hope he hasn't Abandened us, no he wouldn't because if we loose and he hasn't shown up I'll kick his ass."

"Ok Stewie don't panic, besides you'll only have to use plan B if Helen can't be stopped." Stewie thought to himself. "But hopefully it won't come to that."

They're coming." The voice on the Tanoy announced. "Get ready."

Outside Helen and her army marched through the open fence.

"Look at them, leaving themselves up for slaughter." Katie jeered. "It's like they want us to murder them."

"Kill anyone you want." Helen explained. "But remember THE REDHEAD IS MINE.

Part 2

Helen:

This will be the day.

(Let's go, men!)

Lois:

This will be the morning.

(I hope you're ready!)

Protection Brigade Members:

We will see them dying in the dust.

Stewie:

I don't know what I can do.

Still, I know I've got to try.

Helen and Outlaw Gang Members:

Now we make them pay.

Stewie:

Brian and Kady, help me out.

Protection Brigade Members:

Now without a warning.

Kady:

Maybe I'll kill my daddy

Protection Brigade Members:

Now we leave 'em blood and bone and rust.

Stewie:

I'll kill that fat bitch

Outlaw Gang and Protection Brigade:

It's them or us.

Stewie:

Please don't let it be too late...

Outlaw Gang and Protection Brigade:

They're just a bunch of filthy, stinking...

Protection Brigade:

Monsters!

Outlaw Gang:

Cowerds!

Protection Brigade Members:

Demons!

Outlaw Gang members:

Devils!

Helen:

Kill them!

Protection Brigade Members:

Monsters!

Outlaw Gang Members:

Cowerds!

Helen and Outlaw Gang Members:

What are we waiting for?

Helen, Outlaw Gang, and Protection Brigade:

Destroy their evil race until there's not a trace left.

Stewie:

How loud are the drums of the war?

Helen, Outlaw Gang, and Protection Brigade:

We will sound the drums of war! Savages! Savages!

Now we sound the drums of war! Monsters! Cowerds!

Outlaw Gang and Protection Brigade:

Now we see what comes of trying to avoid justice.

Now we sound the drums of...

Stewie:

Is this the death of all I love carried in the drumming of...

Outlaw Gang and Protection Brigade

War!

The two sides then faced each other in the spacious main hall preparing for a fight.

AN I thought it would be cool to have my stories exist in the same universe as the original. Anyway next chapter is the final battle and then two more chapters after that where we'll find out what Stewie's plan B is.


	11. Chapter 11 A Cat Fight

Chapter 11 A Cat Fight That's Also A Chicken fight

(AN well this is the final battle and as the chapter title suggests the fight between Lois and Helen is going to be similar to the fights between Peter and the Giant Chicken. So play the music that plays in those fights. Also credit goes to Family Guy Fan Writter 15 for Peter's fighting method in this chapter. And also big thanks goes to Spider- Man 999 for favouriting this story and the first one.

Lois was standing ridged as she glared at Helen who was doing the same thing.

"So you've come prepared with your own little army." Helen stated while snarling.

"Yeah what are you going to do about it bitch." Lois shouted out with barley concealed venom.

"I'm going to crush you." Helen declared. "And then I'm going to take my little Stewie back with me to Texas."

"Boy does she need a hobby." Jake muttered to himself.

"Oh would you just shut the bloody hell up." Lois cried out in anger. "I'm totally sick to bloody death of hearing you claim that Stewie is your son and saying how much you hate us. Why can't you just let it go and leave us alone you psychotic freak bitch."

"Because." Helen screamed out. "I've always wanted a son to call my own and I had one until you came and took him away from me."

Stewie then spun his finger round the side of his head.

"By the way this might go on for a bit so just be patient and wait for the gross psychotic hog over there to finish." Stewie whispered.

Kady laughed at this joke.

"Now I bet you're wondering which brain dead Police Officer told me where you were." Helen stated in a sly and sinister voice.

"I don't really care." Lois grunted.

"Oh but you will." Helen replied. "Especialy since the culprit was a crippled Police Officer hmm now what was his name again oh that's right Joe Swanson."

Chris was left in shock.

"Oh that's cool bwaaaaaaahhhhhh." Chris yelled out in shock.

"No it can't be." Lois commented. "You're lying."

Helen then laughed in a wicked voice.

"Oh but I'm not you see I threatened to kill his wife and friends baby and he instantly told me willingly just to save his family."

The woman then braught a recorder out and began playing it.

Joe's voice then came through it.

"I'll tell you that they're hiding in a safe house five miles away from the Police Station." Joe explained.

Helen laughed at the look of despair on Lois's face.

"Oh Joe how could you." Lois muttered to herself in horror.

"BUT I'M NOT GOING TO LET THAT STOP ME. I'M TIERD OF RUNNING FROM YOU. YOU KIDNAP MY SON, YOU ABUSED HIM, YOU FORCED ME AND MY FAMILY OUT OF OUR HOME I HAVE HAD IIIIIIIIIIIITTT." Lois bellowed out in a voice filled with absolute rage. "SO YOU WANNA FIGHT WITH ME BITCH THEN LET'S GO."

The two sides instantly charged towards each other while screaming a battle cry. The army's then collided and began brawling.

Chris was taking on three outlaws at once and whacking them with a chair.

The main hall was now in chaos as people punched and kicked each other some were even entering cat fights pulling at hair biting and putting people in head locks.

Stewie, Kady and Brian were shooting enemies down with rifles or in Stewie's case his ray gun.

Sandy then aproached Stewie.

"Hay there honey you want pancakes." She said.

"Not this time you child service bitch." Stewie cried out.

He then incinerated Sandy on the spot.

Katie was dancing about swinging two large knifes about in an attempt to decapitate Jake and James. The twins were dodging attacks and trying to fight back. Katie then did a twirl and cut Jame's head clean off.

"Aargh." Jake screamed out in horror.

Katie then ran up to Jake and attempted to do the same thing however Jake grabbed her arms and caused the knives to hit Katie. The crazed woman looked on in horror as blood leaked from the wound. She then collapsed to the ground dead.

Peter suddenly came crashing through the window riding Snoopy's Kenel. Peter was wearing the typical WW2 Air Force uniform and was raining bulets down on his enemies.

"Ha ha yeah take that you evil slimy bastards." Peter was crying out in triumph.

However he only hit a few outlaw gang members and accidentally hit several safe house residents along with almost hitting Meg. Peter was happily laughing away to himself.

"Merry Christmas everyone." He called out in a happy voice.

Helen who was currently brawling with Lois saw this and fired her pistol at the Kenel.

"Stupid idiot." Helen muttered.

Peter was taken by suprise as the Kenel crashed to the floor and smashed into tiny peaces.

"Uh oh." Peter stated.

Several outlaws ran at him and began to beat him up. Stewie then ran over and blasted them with his Ray gun.

"This is the last time I'm saving your fat ass fat one." Stewie remarked.

Jenifer was taking enemies down with a frying pan when suddenly Mike charged at her with a knife. Jenifer blocked the knife with her frying pan.

"You shouldn't have left me Jen." Mike yelled out in a gruff voice.

Mike then began to rapidly punch Jenifer in the face, however the slightly younger woman managed to dodge each punch and began to smack Mike across the face with her frying pan.

"I'll never let you live with abusing me or Kady." Jenifer yelled out.

She and Mike then entered a vicious brawl as they delivered violent blows to each other, they then began to strangle each other while smashing themselves into walls. Kady then quickly ran up to Mike and shot him in the leg, the arm and the shoulder.

Jenifer then tried to tackle Mike but the slightly older man pushed her to the ground and attempted to stab her. Jenifer however managed to keep the knife away from her chest and used it to stab Mike in the chest. Mike screamed out in anger and pain as he pulled the knife out. He then collapsed to the floor dead.

"Good riddence." Jenifer cheered out.

Stewie was now leaning against a wall panting. Blast it. Stewie shouted out in an irritated voice. My Ray gun's completley out of juice. Stewie then threw the useless device to the floor. Kady and Brian were knocked out with the now empty rifles lying against the floor.

"Well this is just great." The young infant muttered in a sarcastic voice. "Hay Kady wake up I need to tell you somthing."

Kady then woke up.

"what is it?" She asked.

"I just wannted to say that if we don't make it out alive that you're a true freind." Stewie remarked.

The young girl then kissed Stewie on the cheek making him blush.

"So can we have a group hug moment?" Brian questioned.

"Yeah sure thing pal." Stewie answered in his gangster voice.

The three then embraced each other.

Lois was currently brawling with Helen, the two continued to roll about on the floor while hitting scratching and biting.

"You'll never win Lois." Helen remarked.

She then picked Lois up and began throwing her against a few walls while still holding on, Lois then bit Helen in the shoulder and was soon kicking the insane woman in the face.

"You cheating rat." Helen shouted out as she grabbed her opponent by the feet and spun her around.

Lois quickly summer saluted out of Helen's grasp and began attacking her with vicious blows to the face and stomache which caused Helen to topple backwards and fall into the hot Spa room which Lois closed,

Helen however didn't give up easily, she began to charge at the glass door and smashed against it causing the glass to crack, she then smashed her way through the door and kicked Lois in the face sending her to the floor. Helen then picked Lois up and raised her up high while looking like she was going to break Lois's back.

Lois was thrown to the floor as Helen ran up to her and kicked her in the side. Lois screamed out in pain. She then struggled to her feet. Both women had been fighting viciously. Their hair was messed up and pulled out. Their clothes were torn and their shoes were missing. Their bodies were covered in scratch marks, bruises and both women were sporting black eyes and bloody noses.

"You give up yet red." Helen panted as sweat poured down her body.

"Not likely." Lois stated as she panted as well.

However both women knew they couldn't keep this up much longer as their bodies now ached. Helen then charged at Lois and punched her in the face. Lois was sent crashing to the floor. Helen then stepped onto her opponent and braught her pistol out and placed it to Lois's fore head

"now it's time for my revenge." Helen stated while laughing like a lunatic.

Stewie noticed this.

"Good god I've got to stop her." He thought.

He then ran towards Lois who shut her eyes.

"Please no." Lois muttered in a fearful voice.

(AN I'm so evil leaving you on a cliffhanger well you'll just have to wait till next chapter I'm afraid.)


	12. The Truth Revealed And A Sacrafice?

Chapter 12 The Truth Revealed And A Sacrafice

(AN Welcome to the second to last chapter. I just need to make somthing very clear before we get into the big part of the climax. Ok so I've now decided on how I believed canon works for this rather insane franchise. I think almost all fanfictions exist in the same universe. Basically they can exist because a majority of fanfiction dosn't feature anything that contradicts the original. The exceptions I would make would be to stories set in the future because we don't know how the show will end, ones where somthing massive happens that causes the the status quo to brake, eg A New Life or The New Adventures Of Meg Griffin. And finnaly stories where characters die eg The SpellBook. And also AU stories and alternative endings.

Helen loaded her gun and cocked it preparing to murder Lois and get her twisted revenge.

Stewie quickly took his mind control Ray Gun out and used it on Helen.

The crazy woman suddenly heard a voice hisper in her head.

"Miss." The voice said.

She then raised her gun up to the celling and fired.

"Damnit all." Helen yelled out in fury.

She then saw Stewie giving her an evil smile.

"Well bitch it looks like you loose again." Stewie commented in his usual cocky voice.

"Oh no my little Stewie I haven't lost at all." Helen stated. In fact "I know somthing about why I look so much like Lois."

"You see I was Initialy born in Quahog Rhoad Island my parents were wealthy but my dad didn't want to go through the stresses of keeping me and raising me because he thought it would be wasting to much money so he took me to Texas and persuaded a young couple to adopt me." Helen explained.

I was raised in Texas and when I left coleage my foster parents explained where I came from. I then went to Quahog in order to exact my revenge and then I met and married Dave and you know the rest. Well I soon discovered that when I was born I was not alone you see I had a twin sister or should I say."

Helen then paused for a few seconds before saying.

"Identicle twin sister." She stated.

Everyone around the room gasped in utter shock at this statement.

Lois then glanced up at Helen.

"No that's not true, that's impossible." Lois cried out in horror.

Helen just chuckled evilly.

"Oh but it is after I learned the truth I knew I wannted revenge on you because daddy kept you." Helen stated. "So I decided to combine my kidnap an infant plot with my revenge plot and kidnap your baby son so you'd know how it feels to loose a child and I think it worked."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOO!" Lois screamed in despair.

"How could you." Peter shouted out in anger.

"You're disgusting." Brian commented. "You're an evil, twisted, psychotic, alcahol drinking, drug dealing, Manipulative child stealing, child abusing, husband abusing, lazy, fat, ugly, stupid, psychotic, monster, freaky Texan, crazy redneck bitch."

"Helen then snarled."

"You disrespectful little son of a bitch." She shrieked.

Stewie then jumped out of Peter's arms.

"Listen Helen I know full well that you hate Lois and I can understand that just slightly. But we shouldn't hold grudges you may think that what you're doing is right but it's actually wrong. Look around you everyone is exhausted all because you couldn't get over a stupid grudge. You've even got people killed." Stewie said in a determined voice.

Helen glanced over at James who was crying over Jake's decapitated form.

"And what's that going to achieve?" Stewie questioned. "Nothing it's just making more people suffer and if you take me right now you'll hurt other people as well.

"But Stewie I love you." Helen said. "And if I have to hurt a few people to achieve my goals then so be it."

Stewie then sighed.

"Sorry Lois." He muttered.

He then bowed his head down before raising it.

"Then you leave me no other choice I have a deal for you." Stewie explained.

"Not intarested." Helen stated.

"Oh I think you will be." The young infant retorted. "You have to promise that you'll leave my family alone. And if you do I'll let you take me with you."

"What." Lois cried out in horror.

"Holy crap Stewie don't." Peter shouted.

"Stewie don't do it." Chris said.

"How do I know you won't run away and escape." Helen questioned suspicialy.

"I promise I won't run away or try to escape mummy." Stewie replied.

A wide grin then spread across Helen's face.

"Deal." She cried out in a happy voice."

Helen then instantly charged at Stewie and scooped him up into her arms, She then began to run towards the exit.

"Stewie NOOOOOOOO." Lois screamed out in horror.

Lois then got to her feet and ran after Helen with Peter right behind her, just as Lois reached the car park and was about to hit Helen, Peter caught up with her and wrapped his arms around her waist, he then began to drag Lois back the way.

"No Peter let me go we have to save Stewie." Lois shouted out in despair.

"No Lois." Peter replied in a sad, quiet voice. "We have to let her go otherwise she could kill Stewie and us."

"But Peter." Lois yelled out in a broken voice."

"I'm sorry Lois." Peter replied in a low voice.

Lois then broke down completly and burried her face into Peter's shirt.

As the car Helen was driving in sped off, everyone else was peering out the front door with tears streaming down their faces and sad faces.

(AN You know this is the second chapter to end on a cliffhanger. Has Helen truly won is Stewie now finally in her grasp. Find out next chapter. Oh and special credit goes to a good friend of mine who gave me a good way of ending this chapter even if it didn't turn out quite the way this friend came up with big thanks to them anyway.


	13. Six Griffins Minus One Equals Six?

**Chapter 13 Six Griffins Minus One Equals Six?**

After the battle was over everyone went back inside, The residents were treated for their injuries and the Outlaw Gang were arrested.

The Griffins were now standing in the main hallway with Jenifer and Kady, Lois was currently sobbing on Peter's shoulder.

"Well at least you all get to go home." Kady stated in a cheerful voice, "And so do we."

"Kady." Jenifer scolded." Yes they get to go home, but what about Stewie he's been taken off to Texas with Helen that monster."

The Griffins then began to hug each other as they continued to sob.

"Oh god." Meg moaned. "I can't believe I took my baby brother for granted, and now he's gone and I'll never be able to tell him how much I loved him."

Chris then looked up at Meg.

"You know dad was always saying how it was all his fault that Stewie got taken." Chris explained. "But it was my fault, if I hadn't destroyed my old shoes then Stewie would still be here.

"I can't believe it." Lois said through sobs. "We tried so hard to protect Stewie and it was all for nothing, I haven't felt this emotionly exhausted since Stewie got taken away by that woman from Child Services."

"Mum please don't remind me about that." Meg moaned in despair. "It just shows how much I never cared about him."

The family continued to cry as Kady was being comforted by Jenifer.

Later on Brian was in the room Stewie had been sleeping in and was looking at Rupert.

"I'm sorry Rupert." Brian said in a low sad voice. "But now you have no one to hug you at night, that evil woman just couldn't accept that Stewie wasn't hers and now she's gone off to Texas with him.

The talking dog then began crying softly to himself.

"Aww now isn't that sweet I never knew you cared this much Brian." A voice with a mock British accent said.

"Oh god I'm going crazy now." Brian wailed, "I can still here his little voice."

"Um yeah maybe that's because I'm right behind you." Stewie stated as he folded his arms.

"Huh." Brian said as he turned around to see Stewie standing there with a triumphant grin on his face.

"Stewie." Brian yelled out in amazement. "How the hell did you, I mean I saw you, but how?"

"I'll take it you're wondering how I'm still here?" Stewie asked. "Well you see Brian I never really got taken at all, do you remember the time I held the family hostage and thought i'd killed them when trying to run away but they chased after me and then we almost died getting to Mexico?"

Brian shuddered at the memory as he nodded, thankfully Meg had received help to realise that her family wern't evil.

"Well." Stewie continued. "I simply replaced myself with a clone to make Helen think that she'd taken me."

"That's cool." Brian commented.

The door then suddenly opened and Lois walked in while dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief.

"Brian who are you talking to?" Lois questioned.

She then looked down and saw Stewie standing there.

"Oh my god Stewie." Lois shouted out in delight.

She then charged at Stewie and before the young infant could protest she scooped him up into a tight hug.

"Oh Stewie you're safe." Lois stated in a relieved voice. "Mummy though that Helen had got you but how."

"Well Lois these things just happen." Brian explained.

"Oh my baby's safe." Lois stated in a relieved voice as she kissed Stewie all over his forehead.

After a few minutes Lois, Brian and Stewie moved through to the main hall where the others were waiting.

"Holy crap Stewie." Peter shouted in delight as he Meg and Chris ran up to the others

"Yayyyyyyyy." Chris cheered in delight. "You're not dead."

Meg rolled her eyes at Chris and gave him a light slap on the head before explaining that Stewie hadn't been killed.

"Oh yeah." Chris replied.

"Well I gauss this is goodbye then." Jenifer said. "I hope we can see each other again."

"Oh of course we will." Lois answered. "And hopefully we won't have to hide anymore."

The two women then embraced each other as Kady walked up to Stewie and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"That was very brave Stewie." Kady said.

Stewie just blushed and was to flattered to say anything.

"God this is more crazy than the time I visited GreenDale." Peter remarked.

 **Flashback**

Pat was driving in his van when suddenly Peter came speeding round the corner and crashed his car into Pat's van.

"Oh holy crap man I'm sorry." Peter cried out in an apologetic voice as he got out of his car.

Pat just stared back at Peter with a creepy grin on his face.

"What's sorry." He asked in a creepy voice.

"What dude I just crashed into your van and killed your cat." Peter explained in a confused voice.

"What's killing?" Pat questioned.

"You're all freaks how can you not know anything about life." Peter screamed in anger.

Peter then proceeded to pounce on Pat and beat him up.

 **End Flashback**

Afterwords the Griffins were taken back to the Police station where they picked their car up and drove home, the family eventually parked in their driveway and headed to the front door.

"Well it's good to be home." Lois commented as they stepped inside to find the house had been fixed.

"Yeah, although I wonder if Helen will figure out what happened?" Stewie thought out loud.

"Don't worry sweetie." Lois reassured him. "That mean woman won't find out and even if she did the Police will hopefully find her and put her in a more secure prison than IronGate.

"Right now where were we." Peter wondered to himself as he sat on the couch with the rest of the family to watch the Rescuers.

"Ha, ha hay look everyone naked chick." Peter shouted out while pointing.

The whole family laughed out loud as they saw the infamous naked woman poster.

The front door then opened as Joe wheeled in with Bonnie.

"Uh hay guys." Joe stated. "Hay listen I just want to say that I'm really sorry about me telling Helen where you were."

"Oh that's alright Joe we forgive you." Lois replied. "Besides you didn't mean it and were only trying to protect Bonnie."

"Thanks guys." Joe answered. "Me and Bonnie are actually going on holiday for two weeks."

"I don't know about that." Lois commented. "The last two times you've went on holiday somthing bad has happened, I mean there was that time after Peter saved our anniversary when those horrible men broke into the house and harmed me and Meg, if it hadn't been for Brian I would've died.

Brian shivered slightly, at first he had ran away in fright but then when he saw his two best friends in danger he'd fought the burglars off along with Lois and escaped with a grazed cheek.

"Don't worry Lois that won't happen." Peter stated. "Besides those horrible men got what they deserved."

"I gauss you're right." Lois remarked. "But then there was that time before after the Weed being legalised incident when Stewie got abducted by Helen the first time and she was even nastier than she is now.


End file.
